When you were little, at some point someone told you something was yours. You learned your name. You then conceived of/created "me." (Conceived of and created are the same.) The "me" that you thought owned the toy became the me that you thought you were. The me that you thought you were began deciding and deciding, sorting out the world around you, as happenings happened. Certain happenings you left behind, certain ones you captured and held and analyzed and mooned and/or agonized over- and those of course grew much bigger in "you," and fed into your future experiences because of your attention to them, and what you kept looking at you bred, one way or the other, but "you" didn't realize it. And over time the "me" in your mind became a very complex "me" built of the results of the thinking about "you" that happened because of the happenings. Paths "closed" or "opened" to you. You felt weight of the "limitations" of your life, increasing with age or with choices or with guilt or with sadness or with disconnection. Perhaps there developed in many ways a great dissatisfaction with aspects of this "me," or maybe it was all just hard to really pinpoint this "me," or maybe you didn't even know this "me." In many, many ways maybe there were many, many "me"s. And if I asked you who you were, you would likely tell me a collection of your decided facts about "me" and a collection of your stories.
But what you would tell me wouldn't be you. It wouldn't be who you *are.* And what you thought was you, wouldn't be you. Felt like you've lost yourself? What you lost isn't you. Think you are trying to find yourself? What you are looking for, *isn't* you. You, who you really are, you can no more lose, than you can stop being. Which you can't. You don't so much find, as *become aware of,* who you really are. But what you become aware of has always been.
All of your thoughts have been powered by a will, an energy, a Being. During the single moments in your life that have been most profound, moving, and truly joyous- meaningful- you may have been feeling what it is to simply *be.* Your thoughts were quieted and you just *were*. In those moments, you may have been living as one who has recognized the "thought me", the ego, for what it is- *Not Me,* and begun to know the joy of Being who you truly are- kinda by accident. Because of the power in those moments. Because of the Life in them. Without even knowing why, Life felt profound and charged and meaningful in those moments. Life felt *alive.* But in all likelihood these moments later became stories, too, and you found yourself wishing you could have more moments like them, not realizing your sadness was by virtue of the fact that deep down inside, who you really are, knows that *every one* of your moments could feel that way, and even feels it that way, without you. Without the *false* you. It is this discord that causes your misery. Because you think the false you, is you.
I could write a whole blahg discussing the ego, the "me" that isn't you, because there's a lot to say. It's more than just our false sense of ourselves. It's an entity with a purpose- to distract us from the truth that frees us from it. To prevent it's own death. It is crazily good at doing this, even once we start to recognize it- and has lots of craftitty tricks. Making you think you are separate, from God, Life- or from others, is the biggest one, and the first one, but not by far the only one. Giving you reasons to be angry at others, or have no love for them, depended on that first one; and those are both *huge* ones. However that's not the point of this blahg.
As you become aware of the you you truly are, you disable the false "you." Because you realize your thoughts, your inner mental dialogue- isn't *you.* You take back control of the mind for it's true intended use- deliberate and joyful creation, *an exact expression of our own creation,* as we are an expression of that which created us. And then your mind reverts back to a tool, and ceases to be an enemy. You begin living in being, and that naturally involves being true to your genuine feelings about everything always, in the moment, and not responding with any other purpose, or for any other purpose. Which feels fucking amazing. It also involves totally living in each moment, which is a very joyful experience in being, because life is really fucking awesomely amazing. And there is inherent perfection in life, always. We just don't always see it that way. I know, how hard it is sometimes, to see it that way.
Let me explain.
We are Love.
Eternal and unending. All powerful and all-encompassing. We are Life. Expanding and expanding. We are expressions of God made of God. At this moment we feel ourselves here in this physical place with a body, but our beingness is non-physical. This beingness is one with and could never be and *is never* separate from God. This beingness is who you really are. If you are one with Life, Love, God- then you are obviously eternal. If you one with all that is real and good and joyful and loving, with God who is perfect, always, how can you be anything less than that- ever? You can't, and God never sees you as less than that, no matter how you see yourself, or what you have come to believe yourself to be, in ego. God sees you as perfect, holy, loving, good, joyful. Because you are. God only sees what is real. If you are one with God, you are one with Love. How can you ever be separated from Love? You will only feel separate from Love when you believe you are. You will only feel separate from Life if you believe you *can* be. Because if you believe something, it *must* be true.
That is the power of God.
You could not be created as an expression of God and *not* be able to express God's power. You are made of this power, the eternal part of you, and it flows through you. If you let it, if you let your *being* command it, it will flow through you mightily, and create that which is real and good. If you can dismantle the ego by recognizing it, your motives come from pure feeling, which is pure being, which is not only good, but the very intention of God, and the very best Good that there is. Which is the only good there is. Which is all there is.
You *do not have to be afraid* to have and express and direct the power of God, the power that creates worlds, that is in you- when you are living at your most genuine. It would literally be impossible for this power to be used from this place for anything other than love and creation and expansion of the purest kind, since that is all God ever created. Only *we* ever made anything else. But it's only here, and it's not real anyway. The times you have been the most loving in this life you have co-created with God. This co-creation can and would be possible in all your pursuits in Life, and bring you all the most wonderful things you have ever wanted for yourself, if you could only trust in the genuine feelings and guidance that lead you to them, and have the courage to be honest about what you really want and feel, and in how you live. Which sounds way simpler than it is sometimes. God, Life, in conjuction with our true beings, which are in constant connection and communication with them, want to move us right into the situations that would make us the most joyous, and has access to all of existence to provide anything we could want or decide to create for ourselves. If we knew that, if we believed it fully, we'd be extremely happy- and our belief would create and bring us to those situations, instantly. As instantly as we could fully trust and believe it. We have that power.
We are creators, here on Earth. We are creators all the time. We are awesome at it. Right now, everything you choose to believe about yourself is creating you. Your interpretations of life surround you always. Your mind is infinitely powerful. Because being one with God, we also share his knowingness. Inner guidance happens because of this. In your being, yes, you *just know.* Yes, your passions in life stir up from within you. This knowingness exists within you. Trust it. Ever met someone and felt a strong, instantaneous connection? That was you, recognizing them. Them recognizing you. And you just knew. In your being.
When you stop, and quiet your mind, and feel yourself alive, in now-when you feel connected to the God within you, which is who you really are- you just know. And when you know that, you can't help but know your eternalness. You can't help but know your oneness with *all beings.* You will know that you are naturally loving, and loved. You will feel joy in knowing all these things, feel even more joy in expressing them, and know that Joy is just as much an expression of God as love, because it comes from love. So it will make sense for you to do, always, *that which makes you the most joyous,* as a way of honoring God.
When you realize that by being *happy* you honor God, you'll be like, "Shit. Awesome." And you'll stop doing a wackload of shit that doesn't make you happy, and do more of a wackload of other shit that does. No matter what those things are. Because you'll never worry that the things that make you genuinely happy might be wrong ever again, no matter what they are.
And they *never* are. Remember that.
Be yourselves, cats and kittens.
All my love,
Amber
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