Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Blahg #18 - "Reaffirming Magic."
Give me something to write, I asked, and here it is.
Intuition is more than a strange sense or wishful thinking or an immature dreamer's concept. It is a tool, it is a great gift, and it will keep you safe- and lead you through Life along a Path that will blow your mind, and leave you with no doubt of who you really are, or of your Divinity. The empty sadness many feel in living mundane lives that they feel trapped in is partly caused by the knowledge within you of the existence of this Path. It is deep inside you, the you you could be, the Life you could be living, and yet we are so surprised at our misery in squashing it, ignoring it, burying it. We come up with other reasons to explain this unhappiness. And a million reasons why we 'have to' lead these miserable lives. Of course, none of the reasons are actually satisfying. Since none of them are True.
You must trust your intuition, trust and trust it, and practice trusting it, no matter what the outside circumstances are.
Others will tell you to deny your inner voice, from a place of love and concern, not understanding the strength of this guidance. But also you yourself, no matter how practiced you are, will very likely encounter situations that cause you to doubt or begin to question where your inner voice has brought you. Which I guess might happen if, for whatever reason, you can't immediately see the benefit in what is happening in your life. Which may be very understandable based on how severe we have judged the situation to be, how far outside of our expectations it is, how hopeless we have deemed it, or the ways we have interpreted it as blocking us.
But situations can never block us. Only we can. And feelings are products of what we've believed to be true about any situation. We can re-evaluate those truths, if we can find the strength. Listening to your inner voice (which will always tell you all is well) shows the difference between truth and Truth. We can see that evidence is available to support anything which we choose to believe is true about life since since we *create* what we believe. It then becomes true. We can all find evidence of whatever our truths are, at any point, and we will simultaneously be creating and observing it. But our inner voice comes from wisdom derived completely on the outside of any of this 'evidence.' From Truth. It is based entirely in Truth. Truth is Divine- and so it works totally outside the constructs of right and wrong, good and bad, guilt and blame- and even time. Truth is what has always been and will always be. Our perceptions of it and beliefs about it do not change it. So, no matter what it seems like, our inner voice, the voice of Truth, can never lead us 'astray.' The True Path, the one our inner voice will lead us along, leads to True Joy, and True Life, and True Love. It leads us to what has always been and will always be.
So today...
Rather than accept situations as 'evidence' against what I know to be True, which is that I am moving along a guided and holy Path that is Divinely designed, perfect, with no errors in it, to lead me to my greatest Joy,
I thank my inner voice for where it has brought me, here, Now;
I proclaim my respect for my inner voice's wisdom, and speak my utter faith in it, Now;
I proclaim my complete trust in the Path along which I have been walking long enough to recognize the Magic of, the genius of, the undeniable Divinity of- and reaffirm it's Magic, Now;
And I say a prayer of gratitude for the beautiful evolution of any and all of my situations, the unfolding of which will surely bring me peace and wisdom, and joy unimagined, as is the Design of Life.
Believe in Magic. No matter what.
All my Love,
Amber
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Blahg #17 - "From the Heart."
What's on my heart and mind right now?
Heart, and mind, and Now.
We get the idea, I think, early on, that there are all these emotions that stem up in us, rise up from the area within us which we know exists, enough for us to collectively call it the "Heart"- an area that certainly is somehow tied to our physical hearts but couldn't be completely defined in the physical. We get the idea that *all* this emotion just pours out of there in response to circumstances and things and people happening to us in any given moment- and that's what we've been taught, so that makes sense. That we believe that. But not all emotion comes from the Heart.
When people tell you to "follow your Heart" they are tapping into a Truth about emotion that *does* indeed come from that *place* inside us. Your Heart really can lead you to joy, and we know this somewhere deep down, which is why the phrase exists. But the idea that emotions always, or even for the most part, charge out of us automatically from *that* place is a little mixed up. This is why people start to fear following their Heart, and emotions that come from the Heart in general. It's easy to see following your Heart leading to bad feelings instead of Joy if you attribute all emotions to your *Heart.* A --Lot-- of the emotions that rise up within us did not come from the Heart, or that eternal part of us. It is easy to see that they came from the *mind,* even by just understanding how *not in Now* the emotion is. Lemme 'splain.
We don't notice, and fail to notice nearly always, the split-seconds that exist between the time something happens in Life, and when we turn that happening into something else. The split-seconds in which we have moved from experiencing the happening up into our brain, analyzed the happening, JUDGED what happened based on our beliefs, our past, etc, concluded, and then react "appropriately" to the results of that judgment. Our story about about it will be born shortly after (you'll never believe what happened to me today) and many of the details will become skewed instantaneously and minutely (or less minutely, depending) in service of our story. And all of this happens without us even really realizing it, and from the instant of that happening, of that focus shifting, we are no longer dealing in Now.
What we have done is created a cut-out copy of a bit of the Life that happened- one we have usually significantly fucked with- on which we are now focused, and to which we are now reacting. Going forward from the happening, this cut out is what we hold on to. It will *be* the happening, to us. (Since of course the happening is long gone.) We call the cut out- WHAT HAPPENED. But it isn't. We proceed, to varying degrees, to refocus on (and therefore grow the significance of) this cut out- through thinking and retelling and reliving, and keep on reacting and reacting to it, and re-experience all the emotions that go with it- *not go with the happening mind you, but go with the cut out.* Depending how strongly we feel about it, feel good or feel bad about it- this skewed little cut out may remain the focus of our lives for hours, days, months, years, decades. It may alter our future actions, decisions, and reactions. After all, in order to *make* this cut out we quickly analyzed and referred to countless previous cut outs.
All the while, real, honest-to-goodness *Life* continues to happen around us, un-focused upon.
Looking at this cut out copy of Life, to any degree, takes us out of Now. **As soon as we are out of Now, the emotions we are experiencing are not coming from the Heart.** They come from the mind. The mind is our tool for creating. This is of course why these emotions are so powerful, and have so much power in our lives. Our cut outs are powerful in our lives too, and stay with us affecting each moment to the agree that we focus on them. Even ages after the happenings themselves have stopped. But this emotion is *never* coming from the Heart. Our Heart wouldn't tell us a *lot* of things that our mind would and does, for many reasons.
There is a way to tell what it's like to be focused on and living in Now. It actually feels very different. I bet you know the difference already. In a way I think we all do. We all have *moments* in life that draw us into presence, maybe without us even realizing it. Moments where everyone present is peacefully and profoundly and humblingly affected by a great feeling of love. Or a great feeling of connection. With another, with yourself. A feeling of the *profoundness* of Life. Maybe it was a dream achieved. Maybe a baby born. Maybe a feeling shared with someone with whom you have an eternal bond. Maybe a sunset. Maybe even a loving conversation remembering a departed loved one. Times where for whatever reason, the beingness, the greatness of Life was just evident. And you could not focus on anything else. Love was felt fully- for ourselves, for others, for being alive just on its own. Life was felt fully. You were literally nowhere else.
We can learn to live this way. No matter what is happening. It is possible to get out of our heads and come to feel only what comes from that *place* within us. We can cease to subject each happening to judgments and instead see what this Moment presents, what it shows us about the world, what it tells us about Life. If we are noticing constantly what Life is currently telling us about Life we are moving along a specific path. This is Now. You need only look around you to see that Now is constantly changing. So the path of being in Now is one that is growing us always. Living in Now shows us how to move forward, to do things that once seemed hard or impossible. It shows us how we can let go of pain we have held on to, held close, how to let go of the stories that happened ages ago, weeks ago, days ago. To stop suffering over something that *has* happened, might happen, could happen, will happen... Won't happen. If you can find a way to come back to Now, Life will show you new, wonderful ways to feel. Because in Now, there are things and people all around you that are lovable. All the time. Seeing this beauty is the result of living from your Heart. Your Nows would be perfect- but you are not living in them. You have brought all your befores with you into your Now and it's making you think your Now sucks. It's making you miss it.
I promise you that Now is *perfect*-
the second you let go of every other second that has ever been.
All my love, cats and kittens,
right Now,
Amber
Heart, and mind, and Now.
We get the idea, I think, early on, that there are all these emotions that stem up in us, rise up from the area within us which we know exists, enough for us to collectively call it the "Heart"- an area that certainly is somehow tied to our physical hearts but couldn't be completely defined in the physical. We get the idea that *all* this emotion just pours out of there in response to circumstances and things and people happening to us in any given moment- and that's what we've been taught, so that makes sense. That we believe that. But not all emotion comes from the Heart.
When people tell you to "follow your Heart" they are tapping into a Truth about emotion that *does* indeed come from that *place* inside us. Your Heart really can lead you to joy, and we know this somewhere deep down, which is why the phrase exists. But the idea that emotions always, or even for the most part, charge out of us automatically from *that* place is a little mixed up. This is why people start to fear following their Heart, and emotions that come from the Heart in general. It's easy to see following your Heart leading to bad feelings instead of Joy if you attribute all emotions to your *Heart.* A --Lot-- of the emotions that rise up within us did not come from the Heart, or that eternal part of us. It is easy to see that they came from the *mind,* even by just understanding how *not in Now* the emotion is. Lemme 'splain.
We don't notice, and fail to notice nearly always, the split-seconds that exist between the time something happens in Life, and when we turn that happening into something else. The split-seconds in which we have moved from experiencing the happening up into our brain, analyzed the happening, JUDGED what happened based on our beliefs, our past, etc, concluded, and then react "appropriately" to the results of that judgment. Our story about about it will be born shortly after (you'll never believe what happened to me today) and many of the details will become skewed instantaneously and minutely (or less minutely, depending) in service of our story. And all of this happens without us even really realizing it, and from the instant of that happening, of that focus shifting, we are no longer dealing in Now.
What we have done is created a cut-out copy of a bit of the Life that happened- one we have usually significantly fucked with- on which we are now focused, and to which we are now reacting. Going forward from the happening, this cut out is what we hold on to. It will *be* the happening, to us. (Since of course the happening is long gone.) We call the cut out- WHAT HAPPENED. But it isn't. We proceed, to varying degrees, to refocus on (and therefore grow the significance of) this cut out- through thinking and retelling and reliving, and keep on reacting and reacting to it, and re-experience all the emotions that go with it- *not go with the happening mind you, but go with the cut out.* Depending how strongly we feel about it, feel good or feel bad about it- this skewed little cut out may remain the focus of our lives for hours, days, months, years, decades. It may alter our future actions, decisions, and reactions. After all, in order to *make* this cut out we quickly analyzed and referred to countless previous cut outs.
All the while, real, honest-to-goodness *Life* continues to happen around us, un-focused upon.
Looking at this cut out copy of Life, to any degree, takes us out of Now. **As soon as we are out of Now, the emotions we are experiencing are not coming from the Heart.** They come from the mind. The mind is our tool for creating. This is of course why these emotions are so powerful, and have so much power in our lives. Our cut outs are powerful in our lives too, and stay with us affecting each moment to the agree that we focus on them. Even ages after the happenings themselves have stopped. But this emotion is *never* coming from the Heart. Our Heart wouldn't tell us a *lot* of things that our mind would and does, for many reasons.
There is a way to tell what it's like to be focused on and living in Now. It actually feels very different. I bet you know the difference already. In a way I think we all do. We all have *moments* in life that draw us into presence, maybe without us even realizing it. Moments where everyone present is peacefully and profoundly and humblingly affected by a great feeling of love. Or a great feeling of connection. With another, with yourself. A feeling of the *profoundness* of Life. Maybe it was a dream achieved. Maybe a baby born. Maybe a feeling shared with someone with whom you have an eternal bond. Maybe a sunset. Maybe even a loving conversation remembering a departed loved one. Times where for whatever reason, the beingness, the greatness of Life was just evident. And you could not focus on anything else. Love was felt fully- for ourselves, for others, for being alive just on its own. Life was felt fully. You were literally nowhere else.
We can learn to live this way. No matter what is happening. It is possible to get out of our heads and come to feel only what comes from that *place* within us. We can cease to subject each happening to judgments and instead see what this Moment presents, what it shows us about the world, what it tells us about Life. If we are noticing constantly what Life is currently telling us about Life we are moving along a specific path. This is Now. You need only look around you to see that Now is constantly changing. So the path of being in Now is one that is growing us always. Living in Now shows us how to move forward, to do things that once seemed hard or impossible. It shows us how we can let go of pain we have held on to, held close, how to let go of the stories that happened ages ago, weeks ago, days ago. To stop suffering over something that *has* happened, might happen, could happen, will happen... Won't happen. If you can find a way to come back to Now, Life will show you new, wonderful ways to feel. Because in Now, there are things and people all around you that are lovable. All the time. Seeing this beauty is the result of living from your Heart. Your Nows would be perfect- but you are not living in them. You have brought all your befores with you into your Now and it's making you think your Now sucks. It's making you miss it.
I promise you that Now is *perfect*-
the second you let go of every other second that has ever been.
All my love, cats and kittens,
right Now,
Amber
Friday, October 28, 2011
Blahg #16 - "Who We Really Are."
When you were little, at some point someone told you something was yours. You learned your name. You then conceived of/created "me." (Conceived of and created are the same.) The "me" that you thought owned the toy became the me that you thought you were. The me that you thought you were began deciding and deciding, sorting out the world around you, as happenings happened. Certain happenings you left behind, certain ones you captured and held and analyzed and mooned and/or agonized over- and those of course grew much bigger in "you," and fed into your future experiences because of your attention to them, and what you kept looking at you bred, one way or the other, but "you" didn't realize it. And over time the "me" in your mind became a very complex "me" built of the results of the thinking about "you" that happened because of the happenings. Paths "closed" or "opened" to you. You felt weight of the "limitations" of your life, increasing with age or with choices or with guilt or with sadness or with disconnection. Perhaps there developed in many ways a great dissatisfaction with aspects of this "me," or maybe it was all just hard to really pinpoint this "me," or maybe you didn't even know this "me." In many, many ways maybe there were many, many "me"s. And if I asked you who you were, you would likely tell me a collection of your decided facts about "me" and a collection of your stories.
But what you would tell me wouldn't be you. It wouldn't be who you *are.* And what you thought was you, wouldn't be you. Felt like you've lost yourself? What you lost isn't you. Think you are trying to find yourself? What you are looking for, *isn't* you. You, who you really are, you can no more lose, than you can stop being. Which you can't. You don't so much find, as *become aware of,* who you really are. But what you become aware of has always been.
All of your thoughts have been powered by a will, an energy, a Being. During the single moments in your life that have been most profound, moving, and truly joyous- meaningful- you may have been feeling what it is to simply *be.* Your thoughts were quieted and you just *were*. In those moments, you may have been living as one who has recognized the "thought me", the ego, for what it is- *Not Me,* and begun to know the joy of Being who you truly are- kinda by accident. Because of the power in those moments. Because of the Life in them. Without even knowing why, Life felt profound and charged and meaningful in those moments. Life felt *alive.* But in all likelihood these moments later became stories, too, and you found yourself wishing you could have more moments like them, not realizing your sadness was by virtue of the fact that deep down inside, who you really are, knows that *every one* of your moments could feel that way, and even feels it that way, without you. Without the *false* you. It is this discord that causes your misery. Because you think the false you, is you.
I could write a whole blahg discussing the ego, the "me" that isn't you, because there's a lot to say. It's more than just our false sense of ourselves. It's an entity with a purpose- to distract us from the truth that frees us from it. To prevent it's own death. It is crazily good at doing this, even once we start to recognize it- and has lots of craftitty tricks. Making you think you are separate, from God, Life- or from others, is the biggest one, and the first one, but not by far the only one. Giving you reasons to be angry at others, or have no love for them, depended on that first one; and those are both *huge* ones. However that's not the point of this blahg.
As you become aware of the you you truly are, you disable the false "you." Because you realize your thoughts, your inner mental dialogue- isn't *you.* You take back control of the mind for it's true intended use- deliberate and joyful creation, *an exact expression of our own creation,* as we are an expression of that which created us. And then your mind reverts back to a tool, and ceases to be an enemy. You begin living in being, and that naturally involves being true to your genuine feelings about everything always, in the moment, and not responding with any other purpose, or for any other purpose. Which feels fucking amazing. It also involves totally living in each moment, which is a very joyful experience in being, because life is really fucking awesomely amazing. And there is inherent perfection in life, always. We just don't always see it that way. I know, how hard it is sometimes, to see it that way.
Let me explain.
We are Love.
Eternal and unending. All powerful and all-encompassing. We are Life. Expanding and expanding. We are expressions of God made of God. At this moment we feel ourselves here in this physical place with a body, but our beingness is non-physical. This beingness is one with and could never be and *is never* separate from God. This beingness is who you really are. If you are one with Life, Love, God- then you are obviously eternal. If you one with all that is real and good and joyful and loving, with God who is perfect, always, how can you be anything less than that- ever? You can't, and God never sees you as less than that, no matter how you see yourself, or what you have come to believe yourself to be, in ego. God sees you as perfect, holy, loving, good, joyful. Because you are. God only sees what is real. If you are one with God, you are one with Love. How can you ever be separated from Love? You will only feel separate from Love when you believe you are. You will only feel separate from Life if you believe you *can* be. Because if you believe something, it *must* be true.
That is the power of God.
You could not be created as an expression of God and *not* be able to express God's power. You are made of this power, the eternal part of you, and it flows through you. If you let it, if you let your *being* command it, it will flow through you mightily, and create that which is real and good. If you can dismantle the ego by recognizing it, your motives come from pure feeling, which is pure being, which is not only good, but the very intention of God, and the very best Good that there is. Which is the only good there is. Which is all there is.
You *do not have to be afraid* to have and express and direct the power of God, the power that creates worlds, that is in you- when you are living at your most genuine. It would literally be impossible for this power to be used from this place for anything other than love and creation and expansion of the purest kind, since that is all God ever created. Only *we* ever made anything else. But it's only here, and it's not real anyway. The times you have been the most loving in this life you have co-created with God. This co-creation can and would be possible in all your pursuits in Life, and bring you all the most wonderful things you have ever wanted for yourself, if you could only trust in the genuine feelings and guidance that lead you to them, and have the courage to be honest about what you really want and feel, and in how you live. Which sounds way simpler than it is sometimes. God, Life, in conjuction with our true beings, which are in constant connection and communication with them, want to move us right into the situations that would make us the most joyous, and has access to all of existence to provide anything we could want or decide to create for ourselves. If we knew that, if we believed it fully, we'd be extremely happy- and our belief would create and bring us to those situations, instantly. As instantly as we could fully trust and believe it. We have that power.
We are creators, here on Earth. We are creators all the time. We are awesome at it. Right now, everything you choose to believe about yourself is creating you. Your interpretations of life surround you always. Your mind is infinitely powerful. Because being one with God, we also share his knowingness. Inner guidance happens because of this. In your being, yes, you *just know.* Yes, your passions in life stir up from within you. This knowingness exists within you. Trust it. Ever met someone and felt a strong, instantaneous connection? That was you, recognizing them. Them recognizing you. And you just knew. In your being.
When you stop, and quiet your mind, and feel yourself alive, in now-when you feel connected to the God within you, which is who you really are- you just know. And when you know that, you can't help but know your eternalness. You can't help but know your oneness with *all beings.* You will know that you are naturally loving, and loved. You will feel joy in knowing all these things, feel even more joy in expressing them, and know that Joy is just as much an expression of God as love, because it comes from love. So it will make sense for you to do, always, *that which makes you the most joyous,* as a way of honoring God.
When you realize that by being *happy* you honor God, you'll be like, "Shit. Awesome." And you'll stop doing a wackload of shit that doesn't make you happy, and do more of a wackload of other shit that does. No matter what those things are. Because you'll never worry that the things that make you genuinely happy might be wrong ever again, no matter what they are.
And they *never* are. Remember that.
Be yourselves, cats and kittens.
All my love,
Amber
But what you would tell me wouldn't be you. It wouldn't be who you *are.* And what you thought was you, wouldn't be you. Felt like you've lost yourself? What you lost isn't you. Think you are trying to find yourself? What you are looking for, *isn't* you. You, who you really are, you can no more lose, than you can stop being. Which you can't. You don't so much find, as *become aware of,* who you really are. But what you become aware of has always been.
All of your thoughts have been powered by a will, an energy, a Being. During the single moments in your life that have been most profound, moving, and truly joyous- meaningful- you may have been feeling what it is to simply *be.* Your thoughts were quieted and you just *were*. In those moments, you may have been living as one who has recognized the "thought me", the ego, for what it is- *Not Me,* and begun to know the joy of Being who you truly are- kinda by accident. Because of the power in those moments. Because of the Life in them. Without even knowing why, Life felt profound and charged and meaningful in those moments. Life felt *alive.* But in all likelihood these moments later became stories, too, and you found yourself wishing you could have more moments like them, not realizing your sadness was by virtue of the fact that deep down inside, who you really are, knows that *every one* of your moments could feel that way, and even feels it that way, without you. Without the *false* you. It is this discord that causes your misery. Because you think the false you, is you.
I could write a whole blahg discussing the ego, the "me" that isn't you, because there's a lot to say. It's more than just our false sense of ourselves. It's an entity with a purpose- to distract us from the truth that frees us from it. To prevent it's own death. It is crazily good at doing this, even once we start to recognize it- and has lots of craftitty tricks. Making you think you are separate, from God, Life- or from others, is the biggest one, and the first one, but not by far the only one. Giving you reasons to be angry at others, or have no love for them, depended on that first one; and those are both *huge* ones. However that's not the point of this blahg.
As you become aware of the you you truly are, you disable the false "you." Because you realize your thoughts, your inner mental dialogue- isn't *you.* You take back control of the mind for it's true intended use- deliberate and joyful creation, *an exact expression of our own creation,* as we are an expression of that which created us. And then your mind reverts back to a tool, and ceases to be an enemy. You begin living in being, and that naturally involves being true to your genuine feelings about everything always, in the moment, and not responding with any other purpose, or for any other purpose. Which feels fucking amazing. It also involves totally living in each moment, which is a very joyful experience in being, because life is really fucking awesomely amazing. And there is inherent perfection in life, always. We just don't always see it that way. I know, how hard it is sometimes, to see it that way.
Let me explain.
We are Love.
Eternal and unending. All powerful and all-encompassing. We are Life. Expanding and expanding. We are expressions of God made of God. At this moment we feel ourselves here in this physical place with a body, but our beingness is non-physical. This beingness is one with and could never be and *is never* separate from God. This beingness is who you really are. If you are one with Life, Love, God- then you are obviously eternal. If you one with all that is real and good and joyful and loving, with God who is perfect, always, how can you be anything less than that- ever? You can't, and God never sees you as less than that, no matter how you see yourself, or what you have come to believe yourself to be, in ego. God sees you as perfect, holy, loving, good, joyful. Because you are. God only sees what is real. If you are one with God, you are one with Love. How can you ever be separated from Love? You will only feel separate from Love when you believe you are. You will only feel separate from Life if you believe you *can* be. Because if you believe something, it *must* be true.
That is the power of God.
You could not be created as an expression of God and *not* be able to express God's power. You are made of this power, the eternal part of you, and it flows through you. If you let it, if you let your *being* command it, it will flow through you mightily, and create that which is real and good. If you can dismantle the ego by recognizing it, your motives come from pure feeling, which is pure being, which is not only good, but the very intention of God, and the very best Good that there is. Which is the only good there is. Which is all there is.
You *do not have to be afraid* to have and express and direct the power of God, the power that creates worlds, that is in you- when you are living at your most genuine. It would literally be impossible for this power to be used from this place for anything other than love and creation and expansion of the purest kind, since that is all God ever created. Only *we* ever made anything else. But it's only here, and it's not real anyway. The times you have been the most loving in this life you have co-created with God. This co-creation can and would be possible in all your pursuits in Life, and bring you all the most wonderful things you have ever wanted for yourself, if you could only trust in the genuine feelings and guidance that lead you to them, and have the courage to be honest about what you really want and feel, and in how you live. Which sounds way simpler than it is sometimes. God, Life, in conjuction with our true beings, which are in constant connection and communication with them, want to move us right into the situations that would make us the most joyous, and has access to all of existence to provide anything we could want or decide to create for ourselves. If we knew that, if we believed it fully, we'd be extremely happy- and our belief would create and bring us to those situations, instantly. As instantly as we could fully trust and believe it. We have that power.
We are creators, here on Earth. We are creators all the time. We are awesome at it. Right now, everything you choose to believe about yourself is creating you. Your interpretations of life surround you always. Your mind is infinitely powerful. Because being one with God, we also share his knowingness. Inner guidance happens because of this. In your being, yes, you *just know.* Yes, your passions in life stir up from within you. This knowingness exists within you. Trust it. Ever met someone and felt a strong, instantaneous connection? That was you, recognizing them. Them recognizing you. And you just knew. In your being.
When you stop, and quiet your mind, and feel yourself alive, in now-when you feel connected to the God within you, which is who you really are- you just know. And when you know that, you can't help but know your eternalness. You can't help but know your oneness with *all beings.* You will know that you are naturally loving, and loved. You will feel joy in knowing all these things, feel even more joy in expressing them, and know that Joy is just as much an expression of God as love, because it comes from love. So it will make sense for you to do, always, *that which makes you the most joyous,* as a way of honoring God.
When you realize that by being *happy* you honor God, you'll be like, "Shit. Awesome." And you'll stop doing a wackload of shit that doesn't make you happy, and do more of a wackload of other shit that does. No matter what those things are. Because you'll never worry that the things that make you genuinely happy might be wrong ever again, no matter what they are.
And they *never* are. Remember that.
Be yourselves, cats and kittens.
All my love,
Amber
Blahg #15 - "What am I Suggesting?"
Oh, kittens. I say some out there thingitties sometimes, no? I must really be looped out, to look at the world, and say some of those thingitties. What exactly am I suggesting? And I'm suggesting, cats and kittens, because somebody's got to.
I'm suggesting that love and respect is *not* earned, *nor* lost, but a constant in beingness, inherintly deserved by every single being, of any type, on this planet. At all times, always. No matter what they have or have not done, have or have not said. I'm suggesting that in fact, as we are one, there could never be any way that any one of us could ever be more or less deserving of love at any moment, ever, than another. I'm suggesting we can make the individual choice to offer unconditional love to everyone. That it is in fact the only way to honour Life. That unconditional love does not deplete us. That it in fact sustains us- which is why we are so fucking unsustained.
I'm suggesting that our *whole lives* are lost in our individual and global pursuit of our stories, our various large and small conflicts and wars, which we are so involved in that as life happens, we miss all of it. Because I am suggesting that loving and experiencing love is in fact living. And I'm suggesting that suffering is not living. I'm suggesting that suffering is not living. Yes, I meant to type that twice. I'm suggesting that we are meant to live, and really live, all the time. Every one of us.
I'm suggesting that our unquestioning belief in all the things that keep us from living- the power of the actions of others, evil, our "reasonable" arguments, our uncontrolled emotions, our depression, and even our sickness and yes, even death- I'm suggesting that this unquestioning belief has created and is even now creating these things. That our increasing belief has created them increasingly. I'm suggesting we have the ability to create otherwise. I'm suggesting that it's only a matter of faith *even now* to literally and even physically obliterate them from our existence.
I'm suggesting that there can be peace in any situation. I'm suggesting there can be joy in any situation. Sound impossible? It is quite impossible indeed. *Except* for in eternity. When you are in eternity, in now, you *feel* your eternalness, and it shows you there's nothing to be afraid of. It shows you there is nothing to fight about. It shows you that you are not your thoughts, but their master. That all is perfect and as it should be. You are in eternity, right now. We all are. I'm suggesting we just don't see it. That for generations and generations and generations we haven't seen it. I'm suggesting the peace and joy that comes from *being* obliterates the fear and loss and hopelessness in *any*, any situation. If we can just see it. If we are in eternity, we are not in any situation. We are not our situations. We are not our thoughts about our situations.
I'm suggesting that the entire existence of humanity is changing, that the change is changing exponentially, that there is another way to live which literally eliminates the need for our conflicts, large and small. A way that returns us to a state where we follow our joy to our most fulfilling existence, naturally- as naturally as can be. Where we see that loving is as natural as breathing. I'm suggesting that there's an element to you, an element to the forces working around you, that knows and understands fully the most important parts of the absolute joy in your dreams, and propels itself toward it, if you let it. And that it would lead you to your best life, if you let it. I'm suggesting we could all live under the influence of, and even conscious command of, this extraordinary, unlimited power.
In lives of complete peace, love, joy and fulfillment.
But it's just a suggestion.
Love,
Amber
Blahg #14 - "Guilt and Shame: 2 Sides of the Same Joyless Coin."
I was gonna write about guilt. But then I realized that blame is really identical.
For example- both are completely wasted energy, because their base is solely in past, and never in present, which is the only time that matters. They are both a way of trapping ourselves in bad feeling, during moments that would and could feel good if we could only just see what is around us right now, and be living in the now, and see that in the now we/they have not done anything wrong, and that in truth we/they have never done anything wrong, because there is no wrong. Not here, now. Unless we put it there. In the now, all can be perfect and beautiful. Exactly as perfect and beautiful as we decide to make it, and maybe we would decide to make it so, were it not for the guilt and/or blame (or fear) keeping us trapped far away ago, in the past.
'Far away ago in the past,' by the way is 5 seconds ago, when considered while being mindful of the prospect of absolute joy and beauty which could be in now. Because now always contains this very possibility. Always.
Guilt and blame both come from accepting ideas of right and wrong- and from a perspective of trying to live up to the unlivable standard of what is right and what is wrong, and constantly expecting others to live up to it. We expect this even though they of course could never *know* our ideas of right and wrong, and likely have totally different ones motivating *their* actions, which of course seem right to them. And, of course, everybody's ideas about right and wrong are constantly changing anyway. Since an absolute real right and wrong doesn't even exist, and so can never actually be learned or achieved or lived or discovered.
Since how you feel right now is all there is. Which makes BEING the only "right" thing to do. And in just being there is only love.
The reason it feels so shitty to feel guilty, or to blame others, is that this is so far out of whack with what's really going on inside us, with who we know deep down we are- and who we know they are too. Which is life: Perfection, an expression of divine love-worthy, holy, powerful, beautiful. One with god always. How can what is one with god be anything less than perfect? If you see the above in you, if see it in them- you are seeing the way the universe sees. This is how god wants you to see yourself, it is how you *would* see yourself if you were looking at yourself through the eyes of truth.
No matter what you have done.
It is how you would see others if you were looking through the eyes of truth.
No matter what they have done.
Hanging on to guilt or blame is the practice of sacrificing joy and peace for no positive result. Neither has any benefit for us or for others. In fact, because of the power of our focus, guilt and blame accomplish ensuring that there will be further things to feel guilty about, or blame others for. The anger and judgement we fear from others will be manifested. The anger and judgement we subject ourselves to will manifest also. The mistakes we worry about making will be made. Fear breeds itself. Fear is what both guilt and blame are bred from.
Guilt makes a person feel terrible without accomplishing what is its true underlying goal- loving others, or loving yourself. If you didn't love somebody, you would not convince yourself it was worth it to feel guilt over how you've treated them. If you didn't want to love yourself, you would have no desire to not do things that you have decided are 'wrong.' But your guilt keeps you away from noticing what is available to you in now. Because you could instead love them now. You could instead love yourself now.
Blame makes a person feel angry, hurt and powerless without accomplishing what is its true underlying goal- making the relationship harmonious. If you didn't love somebody, you would not convince yourself it was sensible to feel anger or hurt over how they've treated you. But your blame keeps you away from noticing what is available to you in now. Because you could instead love them now. You could have a healed relationship, even if just from your perspective, now. And you could let past moments go and enjoy time you might get to spend with them, now. If you want to. If you chose to.
Love is how you release guilt AND blame, and how you see truth in any given situation or relationship, any time.
No matter what anyone else does you can always choose love. And you may not realize it, but the relationships we have, all of them, are mirrors for what we see in ourselves.
Your fear, your guilt, your blame- does have power. But love has more power. Infinitely more. And expressions of real love for anyone in any moment, or for yourself, in any moment, dismantle all fear, and guilt, and blame.
We are perfect, cats and kittens.
See it, and love.
Amber
For example- both are completely wasted energy, because their base is solely in past, and never in present, which is the only time that matters. They are both a way of trapping ourselves in bad feeling, during moments that would and could feel good if we could only just see what is around us right now, and be living in the now, and see that in the now we/they have not done anything wrong, and that in truth we/they have never done anything wrong, because there is no wrong. Not here, now. Unless we put it there. In the now, all can be perfect and beautiful. Exactly as perfect and beautiful as we decide to make it, and maybe we would decide to make it so, were it not for the guilt and/or blame (or fear) keeping us trapped far away ago, in the past.
'Far away ago in the past,' by the way is 5 seconds ago, when considered while being mindful of the prospect of absolute joy and beauty which could be in now. Because now always contains this very possibility. Always.
Guilt and blame both come from accepting ideas of right and wrong- and from a perspective of trying to live up to the unlivable standard of what is right and what is wrong, and constantly expecting others to live up to it. We expect this even though they of course could never *know* our ideas of right and wrong, and likely have totally different ones motivating *their* actions, which of course seem right to them. And, of course, everybody's ideas about right and wrong are constantly changing anyway. Since an absolute real right and wrong doesn't even exist, and so can never actually be learned or achieved or lived or discovered.
Since how you feel right now is all there is. Which makes BEING the only "right" thing to do. And in just being there is only love.
The reason it feels so shitty to feel guilty, or to blame others, is that this is so far out of whack with what's really going on inside us, with who we know deep down we are- and who we know they are too. Which is life: Perfection, an expression of divine love-worthy, holy, powerful, beautiful. One with god always. How can what is one with god be anything less than perfect? If you see the above in you, if see it in them- you are seeing the way the universe sees. This is how god wants you to see yourself, it is how you *would* see yourself if you were looking at yourself through the eyes of truth.
No matter what you have done.
It is how you would see others if you were looking through the eyes of truth.
No matter what they have done.
Hanging on to guilt or blame is the practice of sacrificing joy and peace for no positive result. Neither has any benefit for us or for others. In fact, because of the power of our focus, guilt and blame accomplish ensuring that there will be further things to feel guilty about, or blame others for. The anger and judgement we fear from others will be manifested. The anger and judgement we subject ourselves to will manifest also. The mistakes we worry about making will be made. Fear breeds itself. Fear is what both guilt and blame are bred from.
Guilt makes a person feel terrible without accomplishing what is its true underlying goal- loving others, or loving yourself. If you didn't love somebody, you would not convince yourself it was worth it to feel guilt over how you've treated them. If you didn't want to love yourself, you would have no desire to not do things that you have decided are 'wrong.' But your guilt keeps you away from noticing what is available to you in now. Because you could instead love them now. You could instead love yourself now.
Blame makes a person feel angry, hurt and powerless without accomplishing what is its true underlying goal- making the relationship harmonious. If you didn't love somebody, you would not convince yourself it was sensible to feel anger or hurt over how they've treated you. But your blame keeps you away from noticing what is available to you in now. Because you could instead love them now. You could have a healed relationship, even if just from your perspective, now. And you could let past moments go and enjoy time you might get to spend with them, now. If you want to. If you chose to.
Love is how you release guilt AND blame, and how you see truth in any given situation or relationship, any time.
No matter what anyone else does you can always choose love. And you may not realize it, but the relationships we have, all of them, are mirrors for what we see in ourselves.
Your fear, your guilt, your blame- does have power. But love has more power. Infinitely more. And expressions of real love for anyone in any moment, or for yourself, in any moment, dismantle all fear, and guilt, and blame.
We are perfect, cats and kittens.
See it, and love.
Amber
Blahg #13 - "So, Where's my Stuff?"
"So, Amber. You keep saying how we can have everything we want, and all we need, and the Universe is full of abundance. So, where's my stuff? Surriously?"
Yes, friend, it's true, and you can see it with your own eyes, that there is stuff in large quantities everywhere. There is everything, in fact. And lots of it.
But you may not yet see that there are literally gifts for you everywhere, all the time. That these gifts are literally created and tuned to your want for them, meaning they pefectly match your heart's desire because they are born of them, and created of them. And that the Universe offers these gifts to you always, with open arms, with unimaginable generosity, whether you notice it or not. All the time. In big ways and small. On accounta it wants you to have everything your heart desires, Life does. Desires which, on their most basic and most complicated levels, Life knows and understands better than you do. Because God, or whatever name you want to give Life and Love, sees you as uber special, and super, duper worthy of anything at all that your sweet, adorable, awesome little heart could ever desire- however trivial. Just cuzza how you want it. And how it would bring you joy. Believe it or not. But it's the not that's your issue.
You see, there is a great "keeper awayer." There is only one thing that can keep this unlimited flow of abundance out of your reach.
You.
And most of us are doing it all the time without knowing it. Fear and worry. What you choose to believe. The great "keeper awayer" of everything your heart, soul, and very being truly desires- You.
I hope that you can see that this is an eventuality. This keeping away. Meaning, if you do decide to worry or fear, and it really is a choice, your choice- even if there is no reason to worry, but more than that, even if there *is* a reason to worry, even if there *are*, many reasons, all valid seeming, to worry- I hope you can see that your choice to worry is equal to a decision to keep away the miracles that could heal the very situation you are worried about. The endless provisions that life will make for you in all the areas you are worried about. Miracles only Life could ever possibly imagine, cuz they're that cool. Our extremely limited imagination is what makes us feel that *any* situation is hopeless. We are so powerful, though, that our decision that it is hopeless is what stands for us. It changes the outcome. It rings out into the universe and holds up the barriers and illusory "problems" and feeds them, and strengthens them. You can choose to worry or not to- there is no judgment. But know that no matter what happens or will happen, ever, your worry and fear will keep away the miracles that could heal these situations for you, as long as you hold onto them. And definitely will not contribute to the things you want to happen, happening.
So, what do you want, and need?
A frantic feeling need or want, one coming from fear, is never a real declaration of, or ask for, what you need or want. It is a desructive force disguised as an ask. This need/want in itself contributes to lack. The illusion of lack. Meaning if you desperately declare "I need love" in a way that feels bad to you, then this is in fact a declaration of an existence of a lack of love, as it is a feeling which is clearly based in a belief that there is a lack of love in you. In truth you are whole and do not -need- anything. In truth you are made of Love.
Life is for enjoying. And the whole universe wants for and stands behind our absolute joy in our experienes. Your gifts, the things which are inherently provided to you, are the things that are a perfect expression of life which is an expression of god which is as you can imagine, is a pretty damn awesome feeling. A dream that you have that makes your heart sing is such an expression. A need that you have which is vital to your joyous, harmonious, and healthful experience here are surely these also. No one can tell you what desires feel right for you, and are surrounded with the light and love of divinity, but you sure can feel it. Don't doubt your ability to feel it.
This is the stuff you push away by worrying about it, or noticing an illusory "lack" of it, or believing there isn't enough of it to go around, or believing you don't deserve it, or feeling guilty about having it. Feel guilt when people give you things, or help you? How about when people compliment you or show you love? Feel discomfort in those situations? You are keeping away your gifts. In *many* more areas than you realize. This attitude rings out as belief, and it shapes all areas of your experience.
Feel fear about your money? Dread looking at your bills and account statements? Wonder how you could ever surmount these financial obstacles? Feel like you just can't catch a break? Feel like you just can't get ahead? Worry about your next meal? Feel that you have to steal to survive? You are keeping away your gifts. I hope you can see that money represents an exchange of abundance and is therefore included in every way in what Life wants for you. Trust that your dreams deserve to be supported by the greatest force imaginable. Seeing money as something that is difficult to obtain, or *something that you must sacrifice your happiness in order to earn*, just makes that true for you. Understand that. A shift in belief is literally all that is required to change your financial situation. A shift in belief can mark the beginning of you contributing your god-given, life-given talents, which we each have, to this world- and of you being financially compensated for these, *your gifts to life*. Which it receives with joy, also.
In turn.
Someone who knows that everything they need which they don't already have will be provided to them in perfect timing is always at peace regardless of the circumstances. Someone who knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that their dreams will be given to them, and in better and more perfect fashion than even they could imagine, is full of joy and enthusiasm for life. Someone who understands the value of their talents and of their presence, and the joyous and important contribution they make in this world will give joyfully, in many ways and areas, always. Someone who understands that their financial needs will always be met never worries about money. Someone like this is happy, feels secure in every moment, and is just super excited for every moment of the journey to get there. No matter what those moments contain.
Become this person, and I promise you, you'll get your "stuff."
Lots of love to you, cats and kittens.
-Amber
Blahg #12 - "So, I was Writing this Big Blahg about Evil."
- or rather, my big long defense of my beliefs about evil. Which is how it started. From a position of defense. At one point, I just stopped working on it and found I didn't feel I should return to it, and this continued for several days until I saw what I was doing. This blahg couldn't happen until I reminded myself that there was *nothing* to argue or defend. As there never is. Defending means there is a *right* or a *wrong.* I don't need to stick up for the truth. It just is. What I *can* do is point to it:
- We are each responsible for every aspect of our own experience, and we control through thought *all* that we introduce into our experiences. Our *very belief*, personally and as a species, in evil, is the exact thing which causes it to exist in our experiences;
- The things and people we point to and call "evil," ALL of them, even the big ones, are definitely and without a doubt the physical products and direct results of many people's choices, individually and as a whole species, to believe without a shadow of a doubt that there *is* inherent evil, to look for that evil everywhere, and to constantly and increasingly fear it, to see it in each other, and believe we need to be protected from it;
- Most of us have forgotten that we are each powerful creators with powerful minds that are ALWAYS creating, turning thought energy into physical, *no matter what* we are giving our thought energy to, *no matter what* we choose to believe- or worry about. And since we choose to believe 'terrible' things are everywhere, we are absolutely and without a doubt creating "evil" in our own experiences constantly without realizing it. Since we create our world and experiences based on what we truly believe *each of us are getting exactly what we expect, always.* This could not be more fair, it is universal law, and means all is *exactly* how it should be, always;
- We, as individuals and as a species, are only a realization away, (the above realization in fact) from *completely removing* that which we call "evil", from our experiences- simply by choosing *not* to fear it, not to believe in it, and not to uphold creation of evil through this unflinching belief in it. By, ahem, "fearing no evil."
Now.
There is a reason I started off this blahg writing from an illusory position of defense of the above. It's because in the past people have reacted very strongly and often in violent opposition of the truth in this area. It's the hardest thing to get anyone to understand because it's so deeply ingrained in how we live. Religion, law, Mommy and Daddy- everything we have ever learned from everyone who ever taught us anything depends on good and bad, and which we are. It's how we live! And most importantly it's the basis of the reasons we have why we can't be happy. Which means once we see this truth there is complete freedom to be happy all the time. Which is what happened to me. :D
A lot of people take issue with the idea of being in control of their experience. On accounta their experience is sooo miserable. Who would choose that? And what-am I saying it's their "fault?" (P.S. That's never what I am saying!! Fault means good and bad right and wrong, does it not? I'm only ever pointing out the *freedom* we have, each of us, to change everything for the better. Aaaaand I don't mean better like right and wrong, but better like how you *feel*, the only kind of better that matters. *What you feel now is all that matters.* l'm talking about you being truly joy filled every day and every moment of your life. The only reason I ever try to help you see truth is so you can have this joy for yourself.)
When it comes to Universal truth, there is no need for argument, there is no defense.
It is universally true that we have, with our powerful thought energy, created everything around us. It is universally true that, as a good friend said to me this week "Whatever you believe without a shadow of a doubt becomes your personal truth." If you choose to believe in evil, you invite evil into your life. Life will give you the evil you are looking for. You will always see evidence of it. Since we as a species believe in great evil without a shadow of a doubt, there is great evil. If you have spent much of your life fearing evil and hating evil and talking about it and concentrating on it and trying to abolish it than you will have attracted much of it to you. I would not be surprised if there is a lot of 'evil' in your life. Which would mean also that I wouldn't be surprised if you have a strong aversion to hearing that you can control how and when and if it comes into your life, and how it affects you.
If you want to believe other people are wrong and you are right, you are creating more "evil" in the world. Whether what they have done is a small thing or a huge one, it makes no difference. If you can release them needing to be "wrong," you can love them, no matter what. There is no *true* reason you shouldn't love them. No matter who they are. Am I saying you could love the very worstest of the worst criminals? Yes, I am. (Side note: Many of my closest friends would be considered criminals.) But- even the 'worst' criminal you can think of. Go ahead, think of them. Your hatred of them, your condemnation of their wrongness, doesn't lower them, doesn't stop them, doesn't change what they did. It doesn't help anyone or anything feel better or be better. You hating them and noticing their "wrongness" doesn't "give them what they deserve." It doesn't help those they hurt. It doesn't elevate you, or make you a good person, to notice/hate/condemn them. It does only one thing. It invites more of the thing you hate/condemn into your experience and into the world.
If you choose to be angry and disappointed with people, they will anger and disappoint you.
If you choose to believe others can hurt and diminish you, that you need to look out/be afraid of them, that you are "unsafe"- you will become so.
If you choose to believe that you are being judged for everything you do, you will feel guilt. We can't find wrongness in others without finding it in ourselves.
If you choose to believe that people or situations can "make you" be/act/feel a certain way, then you'll always be at the mercy of those around you, and of what happens, in regards to when you can be happy and when you can't.
Or, just by recognizing 'evil' for what it is- a product and result of illusory beliefs and thoughts about life and about who we are, a product of having been taught to live our lives in fear of others and of ourselves- and by releasing our fear based need to be right and have others be wrong, we can abolish 'evil' and all its power from our experiences. Forever.
Our choice. And that is the truth.
-Amber
- We are each responsible for every aspect of our own experience, and we control through thought *all* that we introduce into our experiences. Our *very belief*, personally and as a species, in evil, is the exact thing which causes it to exist in our experiences;
- The things and people we point to and call "evil," ALL of them, even the big ones, are definitely and without a doubt the physical products and direct results of many people's choices, individually and as a whole species, to believe without a shadow of a doubt that there *is* inherent evil, to look for that evil everywhere, and to constantly and increasingly fear it, to see it in each other, and believe we need to be protected from it;
- Most of us have forgotten that we are each powerful creators with powerful minds that are ALWAYS creating, turning thought energy into physical, *no matter what* we are giving our thought energy to, *no matter what* we choose to believe- or worry about. And since we choose to believe 'terrible' things are everywhere, we are absolutely and without a doubt creating "evil" in our own experiences constantly without realizing it. Since we create our world and experiences based on what we truly believe *each of us are getting exactly what we expect, always.* This could not be more fair, it is universal law, and means all is *exactly* how it should be, always;
- We, as individuals and as a species, are only a realization away, (the above realization in fact) from *completely removing* that which we call "evil", from our experiences- simply by choosing *not* to fear it, not to believe in it, and not to uphold creation of evil through this unflinching belief in it. By, ahem, "fearing no evil."
Now.
There is a reason I started off this blahg writing from an illusory position of defense of the above. It's because in the past people have reacted very strongly and often in violent opposition of the truth in this area. It's the hardest thing to get anyone to understand because it's so deeply ingrained in how we live. Religion, law, Mommy and Daddy- everything we have ever learned from everyone who ever taught us anything depends on good and bad, and which we are. It's how we live! And most importantly it's the basis of the reasons we have why we can't be happy. Which means once we see this truth there is complete freedom to be happy all the time. Which is what happened to me. :D
A lot of people take issue with the idea of being in control of their experience. On accounta their experience is sooo miserable. Who would choose that? And what-am I saying it's their "fault?" (P.S. That's never what I am saying!! Fault means good and bad right and wrong, does it not? I'm only ever pointing out the *freedom* we have, each of us, to change everything for the better. Aaaaand I don't mean better like right and wrong, but better like how you *feel*, the only kind of better that matters. *What you feel now is all that matters.* l'm talking about you being truly joy filled every day and every moment of your life. The only reason I ever try to help you see truth is so you can have this joy for yourself.)
When it comes to Universal truth, there is no need for argument, there is no defense.
It is universally true that we have, with our powerful thought energy, created everything around us. It is universally true that, as a good friend said to me this week "Whatever you believe without a shadow of a doubt becomes your personal truth." If you choose to believe in evil, you invite evil into your life. Life will give you the evil you are looking for. You will always see evidence of it. Since we as a species believe in great evil without a shadow of a doubt, there is great evil. If you have spent much of your life fearing evil and hating evil and talking about it and concentrating on it and trying to abolish it than you will have attracted much of it to you. I would not be surprised if there is a lot of 'evil' in your life. Which would mean also that I wouldn't be surprised if you have a strong aversion to hearing that you can control how and when and if it comes into your life, and how it affects you.
If you want to believe other people are wrong and you are right, you are creating more "evil" in the world. Whether what they have done is a small thing or a huge one, it makes no difference. If you can release them needing to be "wrong," you can love them, no matter what. There is no *true* reason you shouldn't love them. No matter who they are. Am I saying you could love the very worstest of the worst criminals? Yes, I am. (Side note: Many of my closest friends would be considered criminals.) But- even the 'worst' criminal you can think of. Go ahead, think of them. Your hatred of them, your condemnation of their wrongness, doesn't lower them, doesn't stop them, doesn't change what they did. It doesn't help anyone or anything feel better or be better. You hating them and noticing their "wrongness" doesn't "give them what they deserve." It doesn't help those they hurt. It doesn't elevate you, or make you a good person, to notice/hate/condemn them. It does only one thing. It invites more of the thing you hate/condemn into your experience and into the world.
If you choose to be angry and disappointed with people, they will anger and disappoint you.
If you choose to believe others can hurt and diminish you, that you need to look out/be afraid of them, that you are "unsafe"- you will become so.
If you choose to believe that you are being judged for everything you do, you will feel guilt. We can't find wrongness in others without finding it in ourselves.
If you choose to believe that people or situations can "make you" be/act/feel a certain way, then you'll always be at the mercy of those around you, and of what happens, in regards to when you can be happy and when you can't.
Or, just by recognizing 'evil' for what it is- a product and result of illusory beliefs and thoughts about life and about who we are, a product of having been taught to live our lives in fear of others and of ourselves- and by releasing our fear based need to be right and have others be wrong, we can abolish 'evil' and all its power from our experiences. Forever.
Our choice. And that is the truth.
-Amber
Blahg #11 - "The Way you Choose to See."
Cuddled extra long with my kitten this morning. :D
I fucking love animals. Did you notice... have you ever noticed how sometimes people feel more strongly connected to animals than they do to people? It seems to be a very special, pure kind of relationship. If you aren't an animal person perhaps the same feeling might come to you when looking at babies. I guess some people never look at anything this way... but I feel like... most people would know what I am talking about here. See, that *special something* you feel isn't really about them. They aren't *different* from other beings you might encounter. The love we feel for them isn't just *automatically* a bi-product of their inherent awesomeness. That's an illusion. The awesomeness isn't the illusion- the lack of awesomeness elsewhere is. As is the idea that what we are looking at or loving is causing the feelings of love we have for it. (Or the lack of love!) It's about us. It's in how we look at them. And we could, if we chose to, look at all life that way, always.
Why is it that sometimes the relationships, of any kind, we have with people, are so awesome in the beginning but almost inevitably, it would seem, start to suck? Maybe increasingly. And maybe they even end up being outright terrible. Sometimes, when a relationship gets to this point where it has gotten terrible, we even feel we are *locked into* this misery for a myriad of reasons. Which of course is relationship 'hell'. All our hells-on-earth are caused by doing and being things we don't genuinely want to do or be. Or believing something about ourselves that isn't true.
Many times when people look at/take on a relationship of some sort it's from the perspective of needing to be in one. Or feeling incomplete without one, or feeling completed or enhanced in some way by one. Rather than just relating for the inherent awesomeness of relating as a means of enhancing our life experience to the highest possible level of joy and fun. As you can imagine, this changes drastically how the relationship is experienced. The question becomes "who/how should I be to retain this person, who I have decided I need to be in this relationship with for whatever reason." Rather than "I already have everything I need, I want this relationship for the fun of it, since it's fun. If it isn't fun, I'll prolly just go find fun." Most relationships begin from a place or perception of lack, rather than from a place or perception of abundance.
From the point of view of lack, it makes *sense* to pretend to be all sorts of ways you aren't. And do all sorts of things you don't really feel like doing. It might even make sense to change "who you are." Or to sacrifice yourself entirely. You behave based on what you think will work. To keep the person. The relationship. Because you have decided that it is necessary, for whatever reason. And this leads to a point where you are not yourself in the relationship. Or believe things to be true about yourself that aren't. This causes suffering. *Eventually* there is exhaustion, dissatisfaction- caused by you not being who you really are, and doing shit you don't want to do, and feeling you are someone you don't want to be, etc. Sometimes you blame the other party for this suffering. Search for reasons that *they* have caused this dissatisfaction, and try to "rectify" that. Or try to make them rectify it.
Once you aren't being yourself- who is the other person in the relationship relating to, even?
This is why it's soooo important, so so important for you to be genuine always. To help your life be awesome! If you're genuine from the start *all* of your relatings will be, too. Because you never have to worry that you are not being loved for who you are if you are always being who you are. Ever. When people are being genuine relating is awesome. Effortless. *It only takes effort to pretend.* Think about that. In the relationships that feel like a lot of effort to you, I bet there is a lot of pretending.
So maybe you are being genuine, and they aren't. Maybe you aren't they are. Maybe both. But there's another much greater force at work in the great relationship crap-out. It has to do with how you *see*.
It's easy for you to look at that new person in your life with eyes of love and see only the best of them and in them. It's like how you might look at a kitten, or a puppy, or a baby. They are not (yet) "wrong" or "bad" in your eyes. *These are the eyes of love.* You do not look at them as anything but wonderful, so it's very easy to see all the wonderfulness about them with nothing in the way. It's when we *change* that view- *that's* when things get messy. Because once someone is "wrong" and "bad"- then you look at them alllllltogether differently. And then you notice all the "shortcomings" and "faults" and then eventually you see them more and more and then that's all you see.
But that's how it goes, right? Because people suck, right? And now I am seeing all the ways that they suck. I should never have loved them. And I'm super pissed. But they deserve it. Oh yes. If only you knew what they did... how miserable I am. It's endless, it really is, the number of reasons not to love someone. The list gets longer and longer and longer. Once you get on that right/wrong scale, their are no limits except what you decide, on accounta you're making it all up yourself. All of it. You make up what's right and wrong, and what it takes to "pay for it." You make up how you should treat them, because of it. Of course, as we notice and think about and talk about and feel the bad, we *feed* it. The behavior gets "worse and worse" in our interpretation.
Oh, and the joke is,
***Behavior, kittens, is often not at all related to our interpretations of it.***
Say you and I are having a chat and while we are chatting about something you feel to be important I check my watch. Glance at it, and back up. Say you decide, "Look at that she is totally bored, and not listening." Say I didn't even *really* notice I was checking it, and did it by habit. And was totally listening. And that's what happened. That's what was. But your interpretation was I wasn't listening. Does this upset you? Sure. Does it color how you see me now? The next time we hang out? Maybe I do some more stuff that could be interpreted as disinterest. Maybe this leads to a belief- I don't listen to you. The evidence of anything you believe sure mounts up quick! And there would be a lot of time for that evidence to build, and maybe 5 years later our whole relationship sucks and I don't even know why. Those interpretations were *all* untrue, but it didn't matter, because you're operating as though what you decided happened *really happened.* And you treat me accordingly. Do you see? I hope you see.
Now.
WHAT IF,
and I'm just saying what if,
You chose, made the conscious choice, to *always* look at another person, -any- person, your friend, your family member, your partner, whoever- with as much love as possible, always, and focus only on the good things they did. And to only think about and dwell on and mention those things. Little things, big things. Like you would a baby animal. Like you did in the beginning. And what if you focused on the things you loved about them, that you loved about them in the first place, *always.* Not just for a small amount of time. And noticed those things as much as possible- and just enjoyed them. The way most people tend to do in the beginning of a relationship without even realizing it. But not just in the beginning. And what if- and here's the big one folks- you chose to look at possible areas of improvement within your relationship as *your* opportunity, rather than the responsibility of the other person involved?
What I mean is.
Instead of asking someone to pay more attention to you, what if you paid more attention to them?
Instead of complaining that someone never listens to you, what if you listened to them more, and as much as you could?
Instead of waiting for them to do something thoughtful, or noticing that they never do, what if you did something thoughtful for them right now? Many things? Always?
And so forth.
And not like you do the above and then stand back and wait for them to "do it back." No scales here, no points.
You would be amazed what *being* the best you can possibly be to someone, instead of expecting them to be it, and looking at them through the best and most loving eyes you can instead of wondering how they see you, and thinking about them with the best thoughts and feelings and noticings imaginable instead of checking for errors in their behavior, all the time, can do for a relationship. ANY relationship. No matter how it is right now. You would be amazed.
Try it.
Love,
Amber
I fucking love animals. Did you notice... have you ever noticed how sometimes people feel more strongly connected to animals than they do to people? It seems to be a very special, pure kind of relationship. If you aren't an animal person perhaps the same feeling might come to you when looking at babies. I guess some people never look at anything this way... but I feel like... most people would know what I am talking about here. See, that *special something* you feel isn't really about them. They aren't *different* from other beings you might encounter. The love we feel for them isn't just *automatically* a bi-product of their inherent awesomeness. That's an illusion. The awesomeness isn't the illusion- the lack of awesomeness elsewhere is. As is the idea that what we are looking at or loving is causing the feelings of love we have for it. (Or the lack of love!) It's about us. It's in how we look at them. And we could, if we chose to, look at all life that way, always.
Why is it that sometimes the relationships, of any kind, we have with people, are so awesome in the beginning but almost inevitably, it would seem, start to suck? Maybe increasingly. And maybe they even end up being outright terrible. Sometimes, when a relationship gets to this point where it has gotten terrible, we even feel we are *locked into* this misery for a myriad of reasons. Which of course is relationship 'hell'. All our hells-on-earth are caused by doing and being things we don't genuinely want to do or be. Or believing something about ourselves that isn't true.
Many times when people look at/take on a relationship of some sort it's from the perspective of needing to be in one. Or feeling incomplete without one, or feeling completed or enhanced in some way by one. Rather than just relating for the inherent awesomeness of relating as a means of enhancing our life experience to the highest possible level of joy and fun. As you can imagine, this changes drastically how the relationship is experienced. The question becomes "who/how should I be to retain this person, who I have decided I need to be in this relationship with for whatever reason." Rather than "I already have everything I need, I want this relationship for the fun of it, since it's fun. If it isn't fun, I'll prolly just go find fun." Most relationships begin from a place or perception of lack, rather than from a place or perception of abundance.
From the point of view of lack, it makes *sense* to pretend to be all sorts of ways you aren't. And do all sorts of things you don't really feel like doing. It might even make sense to change "who you are." Or to sacrifice yourself entirely. You behave based on what you think will work. To keep the person. The relationship. Because you have decided that it is necessary, for whatever reason. And this leads to a point where you are not yourself in the relationship. Or believe things to be true about yourself that aren't. This causes suffering. *Eventually* there is exhaustion, dissatisfaction- caused by you not being who you really are, and doing shit you don't want to do, and feeling you are someone you don't want to be, etc. Sometimes you blame the other party for this suffering. Search for reasons that *they* have caused this dissatisfaction, and try to "rectify" that. Or try to make them rectify it.
Once you aren't being yourself- who is the other person in the relationship relating to, even?
This is why it's soooo important, so so important for you to be genuine always. To help your life be awesome! If you're genuine from the start *all* of your relatings will be, too. Because you never have to worry that you are not being loved for who you are if you are always being who you are. Ever. When people are being genuine relating is awesome. Effortless. *It only takes effort to pretend.* Think about that. In the relationships that feel like a lot of effort to you, I bet there is a lot of pretending.
So maybe you are being genuine, and they aren't. Maybe you aren't they are. Maybe both. But there's another much greater force at work in the great relationship crap-out. It has to do with how you *see*.
It's easy for you to look at that new person in your life with eyes of love and see only the best of them and in them. It's like how you might look at a kitten, or a puppy, or a baby. They are not (yet) "wrong" or "bad" in your eyes. *These are the eyes of love.* You do not look at them as anything but wonderful, so it's very easy to see all the wonderfulness about them with nothing in the way. It's when we *change* that view- *that's* when things get messy. Because once someone is "wrong" and "bad"- then you look at them alllllltogether differently. And then you notice all the "shortcomings" and "faults" and then eventually you see them more and more and then that's all you see.
But that's how it goes, right? Because people suck, right? And now I am seeing all the ways that they suck. I should never have loved them. And I'm super pissed. But they deserve it. Oh yes. If only you knew what they did... how miserable I am. It's endless, it really is, the number of reasons not to love someone. The list gets longer and longer and longer. Once you get on that right/wrong scale, their are no limits except what you decide, on accounta you're making it all up yourself. All of it. You make up what's right and wrong, and what it takes to "pay for it." You make up how you should treat them, because of it. Of course, as we notice and think about and talk about and feel the bad, we *feed* it. The behavior gets "worse and worse" in our interpretation.
Oh, and the joke is,
***Behavior, kittens, is often not at all related to our interpretations of it.***
Say you and I are having a chat and while we are chatting about something you feel to be important I check my watch. Glance at it, and back up. Say you decide, "Look at that she is totally bored, and not listening." Say I didn't even *really* notice I was checking it, and did it by habit. And was totally listening. And that's what happened. That's what was. But your interpretation was I wasn't listening. Does this upset you? Sure. Does it color how you see me now? The next time we hang out? Maybe I do some more stuff that could be interpreted as disinterest. Maybe this leads to a belief- I don't listen to you. The evidence of anything you believe sure mounts up quick! And there would be a lot of time for that evidence to build, and maybe 5 years later our whole relationship sucks and I don't even know why. Those interpretations were *all* untrue, but it didn't matter, because you're operating as though what you decided happened *really happened.* And you treat me accordingly. Do you see? I hope you see.
Now.
WHAT IF,
and I'm just saying what if,
You chose, made the conscious choice, to *always* look at another person, -any- person, your friend, your family member, your partner, whoever- with as much love as possible, always, and focus only on the good things they did. And to only think about and dwell on and mention those things. Little things, big things. Like you would a baby animal. Like you did in the beginning. And what if you focused on the things you loved about them, that you loved about them in the first place, *always.* Not just for a small amount of time. And noticed those things as much as possible- and just enjoyed them. The way most people tend to do in the beginning of a relationship without even realizing it. But not just in the beginning. And what if- and here's the big one folks- you chose to look at possible areas of improvement within your relationship as *your* opportunity, rather than the responsibility of the other person involved?
What I mean is.
Instead of asking someone to pay more attention to you, what if you paid more attention to them?
Instead of complaining that someone never listens to you, what if you listened to them more, and as much as you could?
Instead of waiting for them to do something thoughtful, or noticing that they never do, what if you did something thoughtful for them right now? Many things? Always?
And so forth.
And not like you do the above and then stand back and wait for them to "do it back." No scales here, no points.
You would be amazed what *being* the best you can possibly be to someone, instead of expecting them to be it, and looking at them through the best and most loving eyes you can instead of wondering how they see you, and thinking about them with the best thoughts and feelings and noticings imaginable instead of checking for errors in their behavior, all the time, can do for a relationship. ANY relationship. No matter how it is right now. You would be amazed.
Try it.
Love,
Amber
Blahg #10 - "What Choice *Do* You Have?"
You get to choose how to be.
Every day, every minute, every second. You get to choose how to be. No matter what is happening. All the time. With no exceptions. There is -one- choice you *always* have, always-- how to be. In any given situation, every day, all the time.
Sometimes, we've been one way for a very long time. Or we think that we are trapped in being a certain way. Or that we *have* to be a certain way. It's an icky feeling. (As is anything untrue.) And when we believe this way it might be difficult to feel as though we have a choice in how we can be in each and every moment. And we may feel like other people or past events or future events or any number of things *make* us -be- a certain way. Or that we have the *right* to be a certain way, because, this that and the other. And the other and the other and the other.
But that is never truth. It is always us, being. However we're being. Just cuz we are. No matter what our excuses are. Our reasoning. And we could be another way whenever we decide. Doesn't matter, don't have to, just could is all. But the point is we always, always *do* get to choose- and it can always be any way. Any.
Tonight my hope is... that you see that. Just simply see that choice for what it is in all the myriad ways it is offered to you, all the time. And will always be. Whether you see it or not. But my hope is that you see it, and see that you are the only person involved in this choice when it comes *riiiight* down to it. On accounta, once you see all that, you can be whoever you want to be. *Really.* Any time. All the time. Freely. And that, friends, is a wonderful feeling. The best. It is the truest form of freedom. Living from the inside, out. Master of your own experience, destination: who knows.
The best. Feeling. Ever.
Me, I want to be happy. So I choose that.
Loving, so I choose that.
I choose other things. But those are the most important two.
- Amber
Every day, every minute, every second. You get to choose how to be. No matter what is happening. All the time. With no exceptions. There is -one- choice you *always* have, always-- how to be. In any given situation, every day, all the time.
Sometimes, we've been one way for a very long time. Or we think that we are trapped in being a certain way. Or that we *have* to be a certain way. It's an icky feeling. (As is anything untrue.) And when we believe this way it might be difficult to feel as though we have a choice in how we can be in each and every moment. And we may feel like other people or past events or future events or any number of things *make* us -be- a certain way. Or that we have the *right* to be a certain way, because, this that and the other. And the other and the other and the other.
But that is never truth. It is always us, being. However we're being. Just cuz we are. No matter what our excuses are. Our reasoning. And we could be another way whenever we decide. Doesn't matter, don't have to, just could is all. But the point is we always, always *do* get to choose- and it can always be any way. Any.
Tonight my hope is... that you see that. Just simply see that choice for what it is in all the myriad ways it is offered to you, all the time. And will always be. Whether you see it or not. But my hope is that you see it, and see that you are the only person involved in this choice when it comes *riiiight* down to it. On accounta, once you see all that, you can be whoever you want to be. *Really.* Any time. All the time. Freely. And that, friends, is a wonderful feeling. The best. It is the truest form of freedom. Living from the inside, out. Master of your own experience, destination: who knows.
The best. Feeling. Ever.
Me, I want to be happy. So I choose that.
Loving, so I choose that.
I choose other things. But those are the most important two.
- Amber
Blahg #9 - "A Love Letter, To You."
When I think of you, blahg readers, dear friends:
It makes my heart swell. I have a love for you that is profound. I want only the best for you in this life, whatever that may be. I wish for your happiness with all my being, every minute. I think of you in love, in the most loving ways I can possibly manage. Even if we don't really know each other, or perhaps do not see each other often, or at all, in this life. No matter where you are or what you are doing or what you have done or what you will do, or what you haven't done, or what you won't. Even if you do not have an ounce of love for me, I have this love for you. Even if your heart is filled to the brim with all the nastiest kinds of hatred the human mind can conjure up and send to the heart as emotion for me, the love I have for you remains. Nothing you could ever say or do could destroy this love, or take it away, or make it go away. I love you, dear friends, without any needing, without any conditions, whatsoever, without any participation from you.
It does not deplete me or take my energy to love you this way. In fact, the exact opposite is true. This love is like a fuel for my soul, the more I find the more I find is underneath, and the amount of joy I receive just living in my love for you is immeasurable. I do not need to factor any circumstances into this love. Any differences in personality. Any potentials. Any rules. This is not tolerance. This is love. You do not earn it. You can not lose it. Because you always are who you are, whether you know it or not. And I love that part of you, who you really are. And it's so beautiful I can hardly stand it. No matter who you are. And even if you hide it endlessly from yourself, and even if you've forgotten entirely, and even if you never knew, there *you* will be, life, burning brightly underneath, in complete balance, whole, the most perfect thing imaginable. **Everything.** And that is what I will see, always, when I look at you, and that is what I will think of when I think of you, no matter what you present or project or say or do or think. This does not take work. The *life* in someone is so very easy to love.
When you see it.
I am grateful for you, and your very important part in this game, and in the general expansion of everything, which needs you and has always needed you, just to keep happening. And which will keep on happening and happening- no matter where you are or what you do or what you think or experience or create or believe or live- perfectly. As it should. All the time.
ALL IS AS IT SHOULD BE. Love, let it be. <---- This is not a sad statement. It is the most joyous one imaginable. It is the most joyous one in existence maybe.
You are loved, all the time. You are never alone.
All my love, cats and kittens. And I hope you fucking feel it.
-Amber
It makes my heart swell. I have a love for you that is profound. I want only the best for you in this life, whatever that may be. I wish for your happiness with all my being, every minute. I think of you in love, in the most loving ways I can possibly manage. Even if we don't really know each other, or perhaps do not see each other often, or at all, in this life. No matter where you are or what you are doing or what you have done or what you will do, or what you haven't done, or what you won't. Even if you do not have an ounce of love for me, I have this love for you. Even if your heart is filled to the brim with all the nastiest kinds of hatred the human mind can conjure up and send to the heart as emotion for me, the love I have for you remains. Nothing you could ever say or do could destroy this love, or take it away, or make it go away. I love you, dear friends, without any needing, without any conditions, whatsoever, without any participation from you.
It does not deplete me or take my energy to love you this way. In fact, the exact opposite is true. This love is like a fuel for my soul, the more I find the more I find is underneath, and the amount of joy I receive just living in my love for you is immeasurable. I do not need to factor any circumstances into this love. Any differences in personality. Any potentials. Any rules. This is not tolerance. This is love. You do not earn it. You can not lose it. Because you always are who you are, whether you know it or not. And I love that part of you, who you really are. And it's so beautiful I can hardly stand it. No matter who you are. And even if you hide it endlessly from yourself, and even if you've forgotten entirely, and even if you never knew, there *you* will be, life, burning brightly underneath, in complete balance, whole, the most perfect thing imaginable. **Everything.** And that is what I will see, always, when I look at you, and that is what I will think of when I think of you, no matter what you present or project or say or do or think. This does not take work. The *life* in someone is so very easy to love.
When you see it.
I am grateful for you, and your very important part in this game, and in the general expansion of everything, which needs you and has always needed you, just to keep happening. And which will keep on happening and happening- no matter where you are or what you do or what you think or experience or create or believe or live- perfectly. As it should. All the time.
ALL IS AS IT SHOULD BE. Love, let it be. <---- This is not a sad statement. It is the most joyous one imaginable. It is the most joyous one in existence maybe.
You are loved, all the time. You are never alone.
All my love, cats and kittens. And I hope you fucking feel it.
-Amber
Blahg #8 - "Big Picture- Don't Worry."
You need to chill.
In fact, pretty much the entire human race needs, desperately, to chill.
I had a friend who would get greatly concerned for me when I would get excited about things. He would feel so strongly that I was setting myself up for disappointment. You might have a friend like this too, a "potential problem bringer upper." Regardless of how excited I was about any given thing, he would immediately bring up a list of potential issues with it, why it might go "wrong", why it might not work, etc. Now me, I am a very excited person, in general. And everybody who knows me knows that. His concern was out of love, because in his mind the world was very really a very disappointing place indeed- in his mind. In the minds of most people, there are all sorts of things, on any given day, at any given time which will go terribly, terribly- "wrong." So it seemed to him, as it does to many others in my life, understandably, that I was setting myself up for some terrible disappointment of some kind just by being extra excited about things. And I was and am so extra excited about oh so very many things.
:D
(Doesn't that sound sweet to you? I mean, it's so fucking sweet. I feel like people would want it.)
Anyway here is the part he didn't understand, and most people find it very difficult to understand.
Which is just how it goes when the entire history of the entire human race has believed something a certain way, and you're trying to explain how it could be another way.
And that is this:
My excitement, extra or otherwise, *never* leads to disappointment. By virtue of the way I see the world, it can not. Even the things that would previously have been the most "devastating" to me, in my life before, when they happen now, only ever bother me for a very small period, I mean like minutes, or hours. And those are so few and far between, and almost gone. And I haven't been living this way for that long if you think about it, and have already come this far, so I do not doubt that *very* soon even those brief moments will be gone. And, being upset for an hour over something most people would suffer fully for weeks or even months over is a fucking great gift, and this is why I spend so much of my time just being grateful to be me. This is not based in ego, this is truth. I am eternally grateful for the truths I have come to recognize, on accounta they are completely clear, and require no faith to believe, just cuzza their true. So you see them so quickly, and see your suffering for what it is soooo quickly, and then it's gone. It has changed my entire life in a completely non-change-backable way. You would be grateful, also!
Big picture, don't worry.
Every moment isn't just all there is. (It is that, though. Which is incredible.) It is also entirely necessary, entirely perfect, and therefore extremely beautiful. Extremely.
**FALSE BELIEFS YOU MAY HAVE ABOUT LIFE THAT RUIN THE PERFECTION OF YOUR EVERY MOMENT ARE THE FOLLOWING:**
1: Whatever is happening right now isn't supposed to be.
There are countless ways in which we believe this about everything that happens, all the time. I wanted it to go this way, this day is supposed to be like this, she was supposed to say this or that, I was wrong, I should have been right, I don't like this person, this happening, this environment, just billions and billions and billions of collective reasons why this moment isn't as it *should be.* This of course feels bad to you on accounta how untrue it is.
You see, we are given a sure and easy way to live life dealing only in truth. Once you get the hang of it, it functions just like a compass. It's how we feel. That which does not feel good to us is bred from place of non-alignment, in thought and usually therefore emotion, meaning we feel shite about stuff when there is something inherintly untrue in it, ie: you feel bad when you think of yourself as stupid, wrong, ugly, a loser, the most unlucky person on the planet on accounta truth is, you're not, so how could that thought feel good. So of course you feel bad. If you feel good when you think of yourself as good, talented, smart, lovable, good at the things you wanna be good at, etc, those thoughts feel awesome, on accounta they are in *alignment with who you really are.* Those thoughts and actions and emotions are bred in truth. Meaning we can follow our feelings to tell if we are in alignment, and once you are, you will see that you only felt bad about stuff happening because of shit that was untrue. And all those thoughts you had about them and emotions you tied to those thoughts. And then you won't feel bad about anything that is happening, ever. And of course what would be happening would be getting better and better. Which leads us to
2: Your life is coming at you completely randomly and could, at any moment, become irreparably horrible and devastated by some event, or many events, or lack of event(s).
We are constantly creating our own experiences, all the time, whether we know it or not, and just as we are feeding into the "bad" things that are happening to us now, we could choose to feed all good-feeling things, (not good like the opposite of bad, on accounta that is up for grabs and not necessarily tied to truth) and once we are feeling better and better gradually our experiences adapt to that for many many reasons, until we find ourselves in a place where we see the truth: there is no good, or bad, until we put it there through thought. Everything only ever is, and is perfect. More on that in a minute.
3: Lack.
There is no such thing as lack. Would you like proof of this? Good. TRY BELIEVING IT. Get back to me. This might help you believe it better: You're *completely* EXTRA-SPECIALLY worthy of -anything- you want, no matter how trivial. Believe that first.
4: I am less, I am more, in this moment.
This is a big one kittens- I am always saying "nothing can either diminish me or enhance me." I can't express how true this is. You have been 100% of yourself since you were born and will be after you die. You have been searching and searching for yourself without understanding you always were, you always were awesome, you always were amazing and perfect, you were never doing anything bad or wrong, just doing, you were never being judged or condemned, just loved, on accounta you *are* love, and are made of love, and that means you never have lack of love either, and life was only ever here for you to enjoy and make the most out of, and any time you made anything less that the most out of it didn't matter in the slightest- Doesn't that sound like a lovely thing to believe? Oh, yeah, it does, accounta it's *TRUE*. -All your bad feelings come from untruths.- ALL OF THEM, always, ever, forever.
5: Judgment- RIGHT and WRONG.
Try to see that when something happens, when ANYTHING happens, you classify it immediately based on "right" or "wrong", or "good" or "bad", and then the emotion you have tied to that comes up. It seems immediate, it seems automatic, I know, but it isn't. Please, try to see that. Because if you can see that, you can see that you can stop that. This is hard to see because the whole human race is sooooo fucking attached to this concept. That there is a right and wrong and you can deviate from it. And you feel bad when you think you've done wrong and you think you deserve to feel this way and that makes you feel worse. Guilt = bad feeling = lie. And some of that right and wrong we decide is less important but some we decide is soooooo important. People feel terrible or angry or yell or hate or destroy or fly planes into buildings or drop bombs or stab someone because of it. And what do we do when they do that? We do the exact same fucking thing, immediately, in response to that happening, on accounta we say how wrong they are and who is right. And we decide what the right vengeance should be. And it's "who is wrong here and who is right?" Today on news-o-rama, we'll have a great big ol chat about who is wrong here and who is right. And then we decide how wrong the people saying they are wrong are. Then some people's opinions about right and wrong we decide is more important. And those people get to make laws about who is wrong and right and then some get to "uphold" them for as long as they can before the world changes as it always does and therefore so does everyone's ideas which used to seem so clear about what is wrong and what is right. But for now- we entrust a few folks who get to pick. Who is bad here people and who is good? Who deserves to die and whose life should be spared? Who can we all agree is the worst of the worst? And then, what level of bad is the worst? What race? If it's just a plant, isn't it better? But that crackhead- he's worse. If it was a robbery is it worse? If they were beaten is it worse? If it was a kid, is it worse? Well did they die? That's worse, then- criminals, surely they are the worst. Lets all get together and talk about how bad they are. We're clearly right so we'll decide what happens to them. So yeah- this is kind of a hard one to let go of.
But if you, and only you need to do it, the whole rest of the world can keep doing what they are doing and you can live differently, trust me,
If you can eliminate this need to be right and have others be wrong, to be good and have them be bad, to look good and avoid looking bad, and *truth* is the way you can do this- the only way,
if you can indeed get rid of your own personal "need" to decide who is bad and why, the "need" to dole out love in sections, to only those you choose have earned it, to take it away when you feel someone has warranted it,
in fact the "need" to have control over or even be *concerned,* ever, about what anyone else is even thinking of doing, ever- EVER--- you can focus on your own experience. And then your experience can always be awesome no matter what anyone is doing on accounta who the fuck cares what they are doing. Ima just love them. Then you can love everybody, which feels awesome.
Trust me.
So chill. Big picture. Once you get that untrue shit out of your moments, you will see them for what they are- perfect, and perfectly designed to help you get whatever you are believing out of life. You will see there is nothing to fear, ever. If you are believing all the best in life, (truth) then you know in your heart all the best is happening all the time for you, and you see it, on accounta you've seen it a million times. You understand that all the most wonderful things you want for yourself will come to you, and that you are worthy of them. You get that there is no lack. You get that we are eternal. So you **NEVER** need to worry, about anything ever.
Life, kittens, will give you *exactly* what you expect from it. So forgive me for expecting a buttload of the most awesome things imaginable. But trust that it's always happening! I'm always closer to all of those things, and no happening negates that closeness, not in the least. It's always coming just as fast, and the more I know that, the faster it comes. There are lots of things that used be the things I knew were coming that have already come. So my dreams are always changing and growing of course out of the joyous process of expansion rather than a feeling of needing or wanting more. I don't need or want. I am and I have. I know that being grateful is the way I'd be vibrating if I had everything I ever dreamed of so I vibrate it NOW since I know I *can* have it- easy on accounta I am already so very grateful for everything I do have- so then I'm always getting more and more. And I'm always dreaming more and more. And every happening of every moment of every day is perfectly designed to bring me the most awesome-feel things in the most awesome-feeling ways imaginable. And it continues.
There are no disappointments, kittens, only further fulfillment, every moment.
Big picture = Don't worry.
Love,
Amber
In fact, pretty much the entire human race needs, desperately, to chill.
I had a friend who would get greatly concerned for me when I would get excited about things. He would feel so strongly that I was setting myself up for disappointment. You might have a friend like this too, a "potential problem bringer upper." Regardless of how excited I was about any given thing, he would immediately bring up a list of potential issues with it, why it might go "wrong", why it might not work, etc. Now me, I am a very excited person, in general. And everybody who knows me knows that. His concern was out of love, because in his mind the world was very really a very disappointing place indeed- in his mind. In the minds of most people, there are all sorts of things, on any given day, at any given time which will go terribly, terribly- "wrong." So it seemed to him, as it does to many others in my life, understandably, that I was setting myself up for some terrible disappointment of some kind just by being extra excited about things. And I was and am so extra excited about oh so very many things.
:D
(Doesn't that sound sweet to you? I mean, it's so fucking sweet. I feel like people would want it.)
Anyway here is the part he didn't understand, and most people find it very difficult to understand.
Which is just how it goes when the entire history of the entire human race has believed something a certain way, and you're trying to explain how it could be another way.
And that is this:
My excitement, extra or otherwise, *never* leads to disappointment. By virtue of the way I see the world, it can not. Even the things that would previously have been the most "devastating" to me, in my life before, when they happen now, only ever bother me for a very small period, I mean like minutes, or hours. And those are so few and far between, and almost gone. And I haven't been living this way for that long if you think about it, and have already come this far, so I do not doubt that *very* soon even those brief moments will be gone. And, being upset for an hour over something most people would suffer fully for weeks or even months over is a fucking great gift, and this is why I spend so much of my time just being grateful to be me. This is not based in ego, this is truth. I am eternally grateful for the truths I have come to recognize, on accounta they are completely clear, and require no faith to believe, just cuzza their true. So you see them so quickly, and see your suffering for what it is soooo quickly, and then it's gone. It has changed my entire life in a completely non-change-backable way. You would be grateful, also!
Big picture, don't worry.
Every moment isn't just all there is. (It is that, though. Which is incredible.) It is also entirely necessary, entirely perfect, and therefore extremely beautiful. Extremely.
**FALSE BELIEFS YOU MAY HAVE ABOUT LIFE THAT RUIN THE PERFECTION OF YOUR EVERY MOMENT ARE THE FOLLOWING:**
1: Whatever is happening right now isn't supposed to be.
There are countless ways in which we believe this about everything that happens, all the time. I wanted it to go this way, this day is supposed to be like this, she was supposed to say this or that, I was wrong, I should have been right, I don't like this person, this happening, this environment, just billions and billions and billions of collective reasons why this moment isn't as it *should be.* This of course feels bad to you on accounta how untrue it is.
You see, we are given a sure and easy way to live life dealing only in truth. Once you get the hang of it, it functions just like a compass. It's how we feel. That which does not feel good to us is bred from place of non-alignment, in thought and usually therefore emotion, meaning we feel shite about stuff when there is something inherintly untrue in it, ie: you feel bad when you think of yourself as stupid, wrong, ugly, a loser, the most unlucky person on the planet on accounta truth is, you're not, so how could that thought feel good. So of course you feel bad. If you feel good when you think of yourself as good, talented, smart, lovable, good at the things you wanna be good at, etc, those thoughts feel awesome, on accounta they are in *alignment with who you really are.* Those thoughts and actions and emotions are bred in truth. Meaning we can follow our feelings to tell if we are in alignment, and once you are, you will see that you only felt bad about stuff happening because of shit that was untrue. And all those thoughts you had about them and emotions you tied to those thoughts. And then you won't feel bad about anything that is happening, ever. And of course what would be happening would be getting better and better. Which leads us to
2: Your life is coming at you completely randomly and could, at any moment, become irreparably horrible and devastated by some event, or many events, or lack of event(s).
We are constantly creating our own experiences, all the time, whether we know it or not, and just as we are feeding into the "bad" things that are happening to us now, we could choose to feed all good-feeling things, (not good like the opposite of bad, on accounta that is up for grabs and not necessarily tied to truth) and once we are feeling better and better gradually our experiences adapt to that for many many reasons, until we find ourselves in a place where we see the truth: there is no good, or bad, until we put it there through thought. Everything only ever is, and is perfect. More on that in a minute.
3: Lack.
There is no such thing as lack. Would you like proof of this? Good. TRY BELIEVING IT. Get back to me. This might help you believe it better: You're *completely* EXTRA-SPECIALLY worthy of -anything- you want, no matter how trivial. Believe that first.
4: I am less, I am more, in this moment.
This is a big one kittens- I am always saying "nothing can either diminish me or enhance me." I can't express how true this is. You have been 100% of yourself since you were born and will be after you die. You have been searching and searching for yourself without understanding you always were, you always were awesome, you always were amazing and perfect, you were never doing anything bad or wrong, just doing, you were never being judged or condemned, just loved, on accounta you *are* love, and are made of love, and that means you never have lack of love either, and life was only ever here for you to enjoy and make the most out of, and any time you made anything less that the most out of it didn't matter in the slightest- Doesn't that sound like a lovely thing to believe? Oh, yeah, it does, accounta it's *TRUE*. -All your bad feelings come from untruths.- ALL OF THEM, always, ever, forever.
5: Judgment- RIGHT and WRONG.
Try to see that when something happens, when ANYTHING happens, you classify it immediately based on "right" or "wrong", or "good" or "bad", and then the emotion you have tied to that comes up. It seems immediate, it seems automatic, I know, but it isn't. Please, try to see that. Because if you can see that, you can see that you can stop that. This is hard to see because the whole human race is sooooo fucking attached to this concept. That there is a right and wrong and you can deviate from it. And you feel bad when you think you've done wrong and you think you deserve to feel this way and that makes you feel worse. Guilt = bad feeling = lie. And some of that right and wrong we decide is less important but some we decide is soooooo important. People feel terrible or angry or yell or hate or destroy or fly planes into buildings or drop bombs or stab someone because of it. And what do we do when they do that? We do the exact same fucking thing, immediately, in response to that happening, on accounta we say how wrong they are and who is right. And we decide what the right vengeance should be. And it's "who is wrong here and who is right?" Today on news-o-rama, we'll have a great big ol chat about who is wrong here and who is right. And then we decide how wrong the people saying they are wrong are. Then some people's opinions about right and wrong we decide is more important. And those people get to make laws about who is wrong and right and then some get to "uphold" them for as long as they can before the world changes as it always does and therefore so does everyone's ideas which used to seem so clear about what is wrong and what is right. But for now- we entrust a few folks who get to pick. Who is bad here people and who is good? Who deserves to die and whose life should be spared? Who can we all agree is the worst of the worst? And then, what level of bad is the worst? What race? If it's just a plant, isn't it better? But that crackhead- he's worse. If it was a robbery is it worse? If they were beaten is it worse? If it was a kid, is it worse? Well did they die? That's worse, then- criminals, surely they are the worst. Lets all get together and talk about how bad they are. We're clearly right so we'll decide what happens to them. So yeah- this is kind of a hard one to let go of.
But if you, and only you need to do it, the whole rest of the world can keep doing what they are doing and you can live differently, trust me,
If you can eliminate this need to be right and have others be wrong, to be good and have them be bad, to look good and avoid looking bad, and *truth* is the way you can do this- the only way,
if you can indeed get rid of your own personal "need" to decide who is bad and why, the "need" to dole out love in sections, to only those you choose have earned it, to take it away when you feel someone has warranted it,
in fact the "need" to have control over or even be *concerned,* ever, about what anyone else is even thinking of doing, ever- EVER--- you can focus on your own experience. And then your experience can always be awesome no matter what anyone is doing on accounta who the fuck cares what they are doing. Ima just love them. Then you can love everybody, which feels awesome.
Trust me.
So chill. Big picture. Once you get that untrue shit out of your moments, you will see them for what they are- perfect, and perfectly designed to help you get whatever you are believing out of life. You will see there is nothing to fear, ever. If you are believing all the best in life, (truth) then you know in your heart all the best is happening all the time for you, and you see it, on accounta you've seen it a million times. You understand that all the most wonderful things you want for yourself will come to you, and that you are worthy of them. You get that there is no lack. You get that we are eternal. So you **NEVER** need to worry, about anything ever.
Life, kittens, will give you *exactly* what you expect from it. So forgive me for expecting a buttload of the most awesome things imaginable. But trust that it's always happening! I'm always closer to all of those things, and no happening negates that closeness, not in the least. It's always coming just as fast, and the more I know that, the faster it comes. There are lots of things that used be the things I knew were coming that have already come. So my dreams are always changing and growing of course out of the joyous process of expansion rather than a feeling of needing or wanting more. I don't need or want. I am and I have. I know that being grateful is the way I'd be vibrating if I had everything I ever dreamed of so I vibrate it NOW since I know I *can* have it- easy on accounta I am already so very grateful for everything I do have- so then I'm always getting more and more. And I'm always dreaming more and more. And every happening of every moment of every day is perfectly designed to bring me the most awesome-feel things in the most awesome-feeling ways imaginable. And it continues.
There are no disappointments, kittens, only further fulfillment, every moment.
Big picture = Don't worry.
Love,
Amber
Blahg #7 - "Genuineness."
Genuineness is always, always, always the best way you can be in any situation. That is, if your goal is to achieve the happiest life imaginable for yourself. It has to become a trust thing, where you recognize the very special power held in genuineness and in your genuine passions, and once you realize how it works, you be genuine with all your heart, in every situation, and be open about it: and you never worry about the reactions of others. We do this a lot- we always want to appear to be a certain person to people, or appear a certain way. We have a version of us who goes to work, one who deals with family, one who deals with members of the opposite sex, the same sex. None of these people we are being can be all the way genuine as when you introduce design and censorship through thought to any of your actions you negate the genuine reaction. But once you figure out how to let go and be you- you are always more enjoyable than you think or than you would have worried previously.
Then a shift starts- those who vibe out of alignment with that genuinene you will leave your experience- which might seem/feel like bad news. But here's the great, the really really great news- the truth- you will attract into your experience those whose vibrations compliment yours, and whose personality traits complement yours perfectly, whose skill sets match perfectly to what you are wanting to accomplish- those who are the most perfect people to fill your life up and make it the best it can be.
No matter what your genuineness leads you to, you must trust it. It is your compass and your best method in doing and being anything you really truly want to do and be, in your very soul. The genuineness I talk about- the kind that's only ever about you- the kind that is aligned with your very being, and truth, love, not fear- the kind that is somehow perfectly designed to make you all that you want to be, if you'll only remain true to it- It can never steer you wrong.
And once you find yourself in a place in your life that you got to by being totally genuine,
You will be truly happy indeed,
You will be truly satisfied
You will have no resentments or regrets over anything, or anyone.
All my heart,
Amber
Then a shift starts- those who vibe out of alignment with that genuinene you will leave your experience- which might seem/feel like bad news. But here's the great, the really really great news- the truth- you will attract into your experience those whose vibrations compliment yours, and whose personality traits complement yours perfectly, whose skill sets match perfectly to what you are wanting to accomplish- those who are the most perfect people to fill your life up and make it the best it can be.
No matter what your genuineness leads you to, you must trust it. It is your compass and your best method in doing and being anything you really truly want to do and be, in your very soul. The genuineness I talk about- the kind that's only ever about you- the kind that is aligned with your very being, and truth, love, not fear- the kind that is somehow perfectly designed to make you all that you want to be, if you'll only remain true to it- It can never steer you wrong.
And once you find yourself in a place in your life that you got to by being totally genuine,
You will be truly happy indeed,
You will be truly satisfied
You will have no resentments or regrets over anything, or anyone.
All my heart,
Amber
Blahg #6 - "Go with the Fliggitty."
So.
It's said pretty easily and freely, go with the flow. But it's one of the most important phrases ever uttered. Not cuz going with the flow is easier, though it is. And not because it makes us a lot more satisfied and a lot happier, though it does. And not because it can be utilized in work and creation as a tool so powerful it will knock the faces off you and all those around you, though it can. But all three of those reasons, all bundled up and bound together into a great big fucking pile of life being awesome. And then some other stuff also, so lets do this thing.
***Resisting is always harder.***
As you go throughout your day, and deal with all the colorful people that are bound to be all up in it and so on, it's true that many things can and will happen which could and would disturb your peace and sense of well being. The following information, I should say, is only useful to those who have seen that living drama to drama, whether happy dramas or sad, living event to event, reaction to reaction is inherently unsatisfying and a never ending cycle, which only ever leads to disappointment in the very end, and who are actively seeking another way to live which they have known in their hearts they have been somehow seeking always. Because otherwise you may "need" those cycles. Which is coo.
So as you go through this dayitty, and as each situation arises, you can atune yourself with effort into a very special way of operating, and that is 'going with the flow' in it's more specific sense, so let's call it going with the fliggitty. Frankly, I wish to call it this because it causes me great amusement. If you can do this, not only will all your days be easier and better but you will get so much done and everything will be so relaxed and there will be no chaos- *no matter what anyone else does or says.*
Mkay.
When relating to people, there are two ways to have a conversation. One is a way in which there is commentary. If you'd like to compare it to say a football game, you could say, in the stands. When -this- type of conversation is happening people are talking *about* stuff. Or people, or happenings. "She said this and he said this" - in the stands. "I read this article and it made me really mad and here's why" - in the stands. "You shouldn't have said that to her because" - in the stands. "Here are my reasons why this is important" - in the stands. Now I'm not saying this is a bad kind of conversation to have. I'm just trying to explain so you can recognize it. What you notice is that nothing is being done, and nothing is being suggested. At any point if you just stopped talking and stood in silence and so did everyone else you would see that nothing was actually happening, right there where you were, right then- cept talking. So any goals here are related to winning in the talking, to the egoic desire to be right and have others be wrong. Not moving forward. Just moving your ego forward.
So if you aren't in the stands, where are you? Duh, field. Keeping your conversations "on the field," if mastered and combined with the ability to remain present, (focused on only what's actually happening) can give you ultimate power in anything you choose to approach with it. And not the ickitty kind of power. The magic kind. :D
On the field every word, every *thought* is related to action. And what is actually happening, and what is actually the goal. Focus is never on what *can't* be done, it's always on what *can* be done, now. It's never on what *has* happened, it's only ever on what *is* happening, and I just need to say here... I'll tell you what kittens... I can't really stress this enough-
what we are thinking of and reacting to and talking about and vibrating in this, our beautiful life, is oh so very, very rarely what is *actually happening right now* -- and it is *this* that causes an extremely high percentage of our misery. Very, very high.
Presence is focus on what *is*.
Because -what can be done about any situation right now that isn't fucking happening right now?- Ima tell you- NOTHING. Ep-- NOTHING.
Do you know what all your worrying and emotion tied into what isn't even happening right now does to your life? It's not even just neutral, I mean it's not even *just* that you are missing out on the incredible awesomeness of not being worried and not feeling judged all the time and not having guilt and not being mad. It's -also-, also that you are literally feeding, growing, creating, that life, that worry, those thoughts. And making things worse and worse. Think in your head one person that you know is totally lost in their thinking about life. Maybe, you *are* that person. I used to be.
How much of their experience are they enjoying? How much of yours are you?
Focus on the now always only involves you and your contribution, also. What's going on in other people's heads can not be known by you, Ever, and is -definitely- not what is happening now. Ever. Also not happening right now is any story you are telling: Ever.
Do you know what those words you sling about that idiot who pissed you off does to your life? Not his life, not the idiot's, like you wanted. Yours. I get you told this story so that others would agree with you. Cuz you're looking for satisfaction, damn it, and it feels temporarily satisfying to be agreed with. On accounta our anger comes from feeling like we have the right to/need to control the behavior in others. Or should have any say in how they live. WE know how they should be behaving. How come they don't? We're just so right- how come they can't just get how fucking wrong they are? Idiots. If someone agrees with us we feel justified and better about our anger-but that doesn't stop the anger, but we don't see that at first. But guess what, it doesn't affect the idiots as much as it does you. See cuz now, the anger you have over his idiot tendencies color the next time you see that friend. He acts like a bigger idiot. Promise. Just like you expected him to. And the relationship deteriorates and whatever made you friends in the first place gets all swallowed up by idiot. Then other idiots pop up. Strangers are all idiots. Feeeeding, kittens. The things we do not want in this life do not have to be in our experience, and if and when we stopped feeding them, they wouldn't be.
Giving that shit up, and steering all the conversations you are in toward action that makes things better for all takes loving, and you hafta drop what YOU want out of the equation, and lots of times you don't spend time convincing others you are right. You don't get the "fun" of the argument or of "winning" it. You don't get to be mad. You don't get to be insulted. You don't get all the other people agreeing with you. You don't get revenge for that last bullshit they pulled on you.
I know, I know- what the fuck DO you get? Well I'll tell you:
You get to be the most helpful, loving person in any given situations that may arise, always, to steer action in ways that bring about yours and everyone else's goals whenever possible, which begins to be a lot more than you thought, over and over, making more and more moments of your day more and more and more pleasant and joyful for you and everyone around you, until suddenly nearly all your life is full of happy.
You get the unmatched experience of looking at those around you with love, choosing to see the best rather than the worst in them, (what made you friends in the first place!) and holding them up in the best light possible- they in turn feel how you are seeing them for their best and not their worst, and then you get the most wonderful, sweetest joys imaginable in watching them shine in that light, and they will, cats and kittens, yes they will, and you can give this love to everyone, and anyone, on accounta you have more than enough, you have an endless supply, you really do.
You get to watch as all of your ventures and adventures in this life (and there would be many) go the best possible ways they can, all the time. And if they don't go how you plan, you just move forward, like you've been doing, you don't need to get upset when you're always moving forward, cause it feels good to move forward, it feels easy. And pretty soon you are living that way- just moving on right when anything happens, just leaving it there and going you see that you are always going, see where you are- always, see that there is always something happening now, so really, nothing is ever not going according to plan once your plan is now, is it? Because the only plan is what is happening.
And then you see this path, a path of least resistance, which slides you right on through your life, your happy, love filled life, and all you do, like... magic. And happy makes happier and happier, love loves love, and soon you are bound to change your world to match this happy, just by your vibration, and shit will happen which will blow your mind, please just trust me on that one.
So me, I think it's worth it, if you get all that. Just sayin'.
But it only matters to you.
-Amber
P.S. Fliggitty.
It's said pretty easily and freely, go with the flow. But it's one of the most important phrases ever uttered. Not cuz going with the flow is easier, though it is. And not because it makes us a lot more satisfied and a lot happier, though it does. And not because it can be utilized in work and creation as a tool so powerful it will knock the faces off you and all those around you, though it can. But all three of those reasons, all bundled up and bound together into a great big fucking pile of life being awesome. And then some other stuff also, so lets do this thing.
***Resisting is always harder.***
As you go throughout your day, and deal with all the colorful people that are bound to be all up in it and so on, it's true that many things can and will happen which could and would disturb your peace and sense of well being. The following information, I should say, is only useful to those who have seen that living drama to drama, whether happy dramas or sad, living event to event, reaction to reaction is inherently unsatisfying and a never ending cycle, which only ever leads to disappointment in the very end, and who are actively seeking another way to live which they have known in their hearts they have been somehow seeking always. Because otherwise you may "need" those cycles. Which is coo.
So as you go through this dayitty, and as each situation arises, you can atune yourself with effort into a very special way of operating, and that is 'going with the flow' in it's more specific sense, so let's call it going with the fliggitty. Frankly, I wish to call it this because it causes me great amusement. If you can do this, not only will all your days be easier and better but you will get so much done and everything will be so relaxed and there will be no chaos- *no matter what anyone else does or says.*
Mkay.
When relating to people, there are two ways to have a conversation. One is a way in which there is commentary. If you'd like to compare it to say a football game, you could say, in the stands. When -this- type of conversation is happening people are talking *about* stuff. Or people, or happenings. "She said this and he said this" - in the stands. "I read this article and it made me really mad and here's why" - in the stands. "You shouldn't have said that to her because" - in the stands. "Here are my reasons why this is important" - in the stands. Now I'm not saying this is a bad kind of conversation to have. I'm just trying to explain so you can recognize it. What you notice is that nothing is being done, and nothing is being suggested. At any point if you just stopped talking and stood in silence and so did everyone else you would see that nothing was actually happening, right there where you were, right then- cept talking. So any goals here are related to winning in the talking, to the egoic desire to be right and have others be wrong. Not moving forward. Just moving your ego forward.
So if you aren't in the stands, where are you? Duh, field. Keeping your conversations "on the field," if mastered and combined with the ability to remain present, (focused on only what's actually happening) can give you ultimate power in anything you choose to approach with it. And not the ickitty kind of power. The magic kind. :D
On the field every word, every *thought* is related to action. And what is actually happening, and what is actually the goal. Focus is never on what *can't* be done, it's always on what *can* be done, now. It's never on what *has* happened, it's only ever on what *is* happening, and I just need to say here... I'll tell you what kittens... I can't really stress this enough-
what we are thinking of and reacting to and talking about and vibrating in this, our beautiful life, is oh so very, very rarely what is *actually happening right now* -- and it is *this* that causes an extremely high percentage of our misery. Very, very high.
Presence is focus on what *is*.
Because -what can be done about any situation right now that isn't fucking happening right now?- Ima tell you- NOTHING. Ep-- NOTHING.
Do you know what all your worrying and emotion tied into what isn't even happening right now does to your life? It's not even just neutral, I mean it's not even *just* that you are missing out on the incredible awesomeness of not being worried and not feeling judged all the time and not having guilt and not being mad. It's -also-, also that you are literally feeding, growing, creating, that life, that worry, those thoughts. And making things worse and worse. Think in your head one person that you know is totally lost in their thinking about life. Maybe, you *are* that person. I used to be.
How much of their experience are they enjoying? How much of yours are you?
Focus on the now always only involves you and your contribution, also. What's going on in other people's heads can not be known by you, Ever, and is -definitely- not what is happening now. Ever. Also not happening right now is any story you are telling: Ever.
Do you know what those words you sling about that idiot who pissed you off does to your life? Not his life, not the idiot's, like you wanted. Yours. I get you told this story so that others would agree with you. Cuz you're looking for satisfaction, damn it, and it feels temporarily satisfying to be agreed with. On accounta our anger comes from feeling like we have the right to/need to control the behavior in others. Or should have any say in how they live. WE know how they should be behaving. How come they don't? We're just so right- how come they can't just get how fucking wrong they are? Idiots. If someone agrees with us we feel justified and better about our anger-but that doesn't stop the anger, but we don't see that at first. But guess what, it doesn't affect the idiots as much as it does you. See cuz now, the anger you have over his idiot tendencies color the next time you see that friend. He acts like a bigger idiot. Promise. Just like you expected him to. And the relationship deteriorates and whatever made you friends in the first place gets all swallowed up by idiot. Then other idiots pop up. Strangers are all idiots. Feeeeding, kittens. The things we do not want in this life do not have to be in our experience, and if and when we stopped feeding them, they wouldn't be.
Giving that shit up, and steering all the conversations you are in toward action that makes things better for all takes loving, and you hafta drop what YOU want out of the equation, and lots of times you don't spend time convincing others you are right. You don't get the "fun" of the argument or of "winning" it. You don't get to be mad. You don't get to be insulted. You don't get all the other people agreeing with you. You don't get revenge for that last bullshit they pulled on you.
I know, I know- what the fuck DO you get? Well I'll tell you:
You get to be the most helpful, loving person in any given situations that may arise, always, to steer action in ways that bring about yours and everyone else's goals whenever possible, which begins to be a lot more than you thought, over and over, making more and more moments of your day more and more and more pleasant and joyful for you and everyone around you, until suddenly nearly all your life is full of happy.
You get the unmatched experience of looking at those around you with love, choosing to see the best rather than the worst in them, (what made you friends in the first place!) and holding them up in the best light possible- they in turn feel how you are seeing them for their best and not their worst, and then you get the most wonderful, sweetest joys imaginable in watching them shine in that light, and they will, cats and kittens, yes they will, and you can give this love to everyone, and anyone, on accounta you have more than enough, you have an endless supply, you really do.
You get to watch as all of your ventures and adventures in this life (and there would be many) go the best possible ways they can, all the time. And if they don't go how you plan, you just move forward, like you've been doing, you don't need to get upset when you're always moving forward, cause it feels good to move forward, it feels easy. And pretty soon you are living that way- just moving on right when anything happens, just leaving it there and going you see that you are always going, see where you are- always, see that there is always something happening now, so really, nothing is ever not going according to plan once your plan is now, is it? Because the only plan is what is happening.
And then you see this path, a path of least resistance, which slides you right on through your life, your happy, love filled life, and all you do, like... magic. And happy makes happier and happier, love loves love, and soon you are bound to change your world to match this happy, just by your vibration, and shit will happen which will blow your mind, please just trust me on that one.
So me, I think it's worth it, if you get all that. Just sayin'.
But it only matters to you.
-Amber
P.S. Fliggitty.
Blahg #5 - "What's Really Really and for Really Reals Important."
Ok.
So yesterday a convo came up in my household regarding importance.
For those of you who don't know I live in the home of Rick Cusick, Associate publisher of High Times magazine. I can not tell you what a blessing and opportunity it has been for me, and has yet to be for me still, being here- but I probably will in another blog, so I'm not gonna try, anyway. Early yesterday I was feeling shaken, which is a very rare occurrence for me, and suddenly couldn't stand to be in my room alone. I had been there working on music, but my set up at the particular moment wasn't so that I couldn't just pick it on up and go work in the living room, and so I did. I felt better pretty much instantly. I just needed to sit next to someone I felt comfortable around.
That's why people make families.
'Sides, he himself was hard at work, as he is working on something genius, and there seems to be a lot of creative work going on in this house right now in general, which is another bigitty blessing.
After a couple of minutes working alongside him I felt totally better. At one point when I was between songs, I heard some crap on the news about a celeb. And I made some snotty comment, totally randomly. The reason I was making the comment actually had nothing to do with this story in particular, it's just that, nothing makes me feel bad like 24-hour news. And me, I don't like to feel bad. These days I can shut it out, so it's all good, however I am never going to watch the news in my own freely elected time- and having already been a little off, my comment reflected my general frustration with it on this day. It was kinda like me saying, "go away, newsitty." Because I was already feeling a little... Shplork.
Now here is the thing. Rick has amazing and awesome and intellectually captivating and unbelievably well thought out reasons, like, reeeeally good ones, for watching these stations, bred from years of incredible experience. And no person in following his advice could go wrong, even me. And the watching of these stations brings him experiences with others at his work and so on, and have served him infinitely well. But I knew the topic would come up on accounta he is a very wise man indeed, and I had let my displeasure over the 24-hour news stuff out in a couple very small ways over the past while, but none so small that they could not be perceived by him, now that he knows me. And I knew Rick is probably the most convincing arguer ever made, and would not be all the way cool with me dissing it because he wants me to do well and be smart, and I knew he would most likely bring the subject up sooner and later, out of a combination of said wisdom regarding the topic and a general love for me. I knew it would come up because to him, it's so important.
So. The subject did indeed come up right then. And the importance was mentioned.
Now- a much less tired and shakitty me would have tried to explain something then, in depth, but this me, I just wanted to hang on to my peace. On accounta I was clinging to it by a thread. And that can only happen with focus on certain things, and certain truths. And in those things and in those truths, very, very, very very very little is important, and what is important, is so, so, so very important.
So I wearily replied, "This isn't important." And that was all.
He disagreed with me, with damn good reason, having said it that way. And he spoke out his reasons and I listened to every word as I always do, for the knowledge and wisdom that lies within them. But I never ever ever changed my mind that any of his reasons why the stuff on the news channel was important. This news was changing everything, all facts must be taken into account, the increase of my intelligence or perceived intelligence and knowledge about the world, my role and obligation to educate myself for many reasons, really quite a few truly great arguments. But I still didn't feel it made any of it important. I did not say a word because his words were wise, and because I don't think in a million hours of a million conversations I have had with a million people anyone, not *anyone*, not a single person I have ever explained it to, has ever fully understood it. Not that I've met in person. Think about that.
Lets say you start to understand that you are life, you are made up of life. And that life itself has a presence, and you can see and feel that presence every day, in you, in every person you meet. However you've also seen the lack of that presence. And life has no physical form, nothing you can grab, nothing you can touch- yet is there, yet is more present than everything. Then you see that if although it clearly exists it is not physical- it can not be destroyed. The process of death has nothing to do with the process of life. You are eternal, because life is eternal, and you are made up of life.
That would be a first step.
Other steps might take you to a place where you see all of everything as one, realize your own power within it, recognize you are a creator, see the true nature and power of your thoughts on this physical world. Which would give you a sense of how wicked important your thoughts are. Then you would start to understand how truly in control of your own experience you were, how safe you really were until you believed you weren't, how nothing could even come into your experience without your permission through the attention of your thought.
Next you might see that your own experience is the whole point of being here, that life is "just a ride", and then you might realize that all the destruction on the earth and all the murder and chaos and fear and lies and hate in this world were the products of different people's reactions to the ride, the product of many powerful thoughts, thought by many very sad and angry people, and their beliefs about it, and their emotions attached to those beliefs, and their *attention to those beliefs.* And that our collective beliefs about our world, no matter what world we come from, anywhere on the whole globe, were in the physical, right now, feeding and steering and making and creating all those worlds. That -only- by giving thought and attention and emotion to the parts of the world we don't like, *do* we and *can* we as an individual and as a race continue to feed into those parts of our collective existence. And keep them a part of it.
That would be key.
And then you might even see that all you can do to help the situation any, at all, is see the beauty in everything, and hold on to that beauty and feed it with every ounce of your soul and your mind in all the ways that are the greatest ways that create the greatest moments in your great, great life on this great great earth, and that this is the most powerful way you can help it. All of it, everywhere, everyone. Those closest to you also.
And maybe, just maybe you might start to think that if things just got "bad" enough, that if enough people fed enough of that which they do not want in this world that a kind of breaking point would eventually occur, where many, many people would suddenly, through unprecedented need, come to realize all you were realizing, all the above, all of it-
and that if you could just believe it and know it and live it big enough and hard enough, and all of them could, too, that maybe you could CHANGE things. For real, I mean really real, in a never before changed way, in a non-unchangeable way, forever and ever, the whole way we live our whole lives on this whole earth.
Then you would know why I will not consider what is on the 24-hour news stations important. On accounta I do not wish to consider it at all.
Nor any problem any of us are having, any time. Unless I am considering loving you through it.
I put my mental energy, all of it, into not just my own wonderful amazing experience but the wonderful amazng experiences of all of us, the whole earth, all the time, with every ounce of my mind, heart and LIFE. Because I know how powerful my thoughts are.
I choose love. All the time.
We are eternal. We can not lose each other.
Nothing else is important.
-Amber
So yesterday a convo came up in my household regarding importance.
For those of you who don't know I live in the home of Rick Cusick, Associate publisher of High Times magazine. I can not tell you what a blessing and opportunity it has been for me, and has yet to be for me still, being here- but I probably will in another blog, so I'm not gonna try, anyway. Early yesterday I was feeling shaken, which is a very rare occurrence for me, and suddenly couldn't stand to be in my room alone. I had been there working on music, but my set up at the particular moment wasn't so that I couldn't just pick it on up and go work in the living room, and so I did. I felt better pretty much instantly. I just needed to sit next to someone I felt comfortable around.
That's why people make families.
'Sides, he himself was hard at work, as he is working on something genius, and there seems to be a lot of creative work going on in this house right now in general, which is another bigitty blessing.
After a couple of minutes working alongside him I felt totally better. At one point when I was between songs, I heard some crap on the news about a celeb. And I made some snotty comment, totally randomly. The reason I was making the comment actually had nothing to do with this story in particular, it's just that, nothing makes me feel bad like 24-hour news. And me, I don't like to feel bad. These days I can shut it out, so it's all good, however I am never going to watch the news in my own freely elected time- and having already been a little off, my comment reflected my general frustration with it on this day. It was kinda like me saying, "go away, newsitty." Because I was already feeling a little... Shplork.
Now here is the thing. Rick has amazing and awesome and intellectually captivating and unbelievably well thought out reasons, like, reeeeally good ones, for watching these stations, bred from years of incredible experience. And no person in following his advice could go wrong, even me. And the watching of these stations brings him experiences with others at his work and so on, and have served him infinitely well. But I knew the topic would come up on accounta he is a very wise man indeed, and I had let my displeasure over the 24-hour news stuff out in a couple very small ways over the past while, but none so small that they could not be perceived by him, now that he knows me. And I knew Rick is probably the most convincing arguer ever made, and would not be all the way cool with me dissing it because he wants me to do well and be smart, and I knew he would most likely bring the subject up sooner and later, out of a combination of said wisdom regarding the topic and a general love for me. I knew it would come up because to him, it's so important.
So. The subject did indeed come up right then. And the importance was mentioned.
Now- a much less tired and shakitty me would have tried to explain something then, in depth, but this me, I just wanted to hang on to my peace. On accounta I was clinging to it by a thread. And that can only happen with focus on certain things, and certain truths. And in those things and in those truths, very, very, very very very little is important, and what is important, is so, so, so very important.
So I wearily replied, "This isn't important." And that was all.
He disagreed with me, with damn good reason, having said it that way. And he spoke out his reasons and I listened to every word as I always do, for the knowledge and wisdom that lies within them. But I never ever ever changed my mind that any of his reasons why the stuff on the news channel was important. This news was changing everything, all facts must be taken into account, the increase of my intelligence or perceived intelligence and knowledge about the world, my role and obligation to educate myself for many reasons, really quite a few truly great arguments. But I still didn't feel it made any of it important. I did not say a word because his words were wise, and because I don't think in a million hours of a million conversations I have had with a million people anyone, not *anyone*, not a single person I have ever explained it to, has ever fully understood it. Not that I've met in person. Think about that.
Lets say you start to understand that you are life, you are made up of life. And that life itself has a presence, and you can see and feel that presence every day, in you, in every person you meet. However you've also seen the lack of that presence. And life has no physical form, nothing you can grab, nothing you can touch- yet is there, yet is more present than everything. Then you see that if although it clearly exists it is not physical- it can not be destroyed. The process of death has nothing to do with the process of life. You are eternal, because life is eternal, and you are made up of life.
That would be a first step.
Other steps might take you to a place where you see all of everything as one, realize your own power within it, recognize you are a creator, see the true nature and power of your thoughts on this physical world. Which would give you a sense of how wicked important your thoughts are. Then you would start to understand how truly in control of your own experience you were, how safe you really were until you believed you weren't, how nothing could even come into your experience without your permission through the attention of your thought.
Next you might see that your own experience is the whole point of being here, that life is "just a ride", and then you might realize that all the destruction on the earth and all the murder and chaos and fear and lies and hate in this world were the products of different people's reactions to the ride, the product of many powerful thoughts, thought by many very sad and angry people, and their beliefs about it, and their emotions attached to those beliefs, and their *attention to those beliefs.* And that our collective beliefs about our world, no matter what world we come from, anywhere on the whole globe, were in the physical, right now, feeding and steering and making and creating all those worlds. That -only- by giving thought and attention and emotion to the parts of the world we don't like, *do* we and *can* we as an individual and as a race continue to feed into those parts of our collective existence. And keep them a part of it.
That would be key.
And then you might even see that all you can do to help the situation any, at all, is see the beauty in everything, and hold on to that beauty and feed it with every ounce of your soul and your mind in all the ways that are the greatest ways that create the greatest moments in your great, great life on this great great earth, and that this is the most powerful way you can help it. All of it, everywhere, everyone. Those closest to you also.
And maybe, just maybe you might start to think that if things just got "bad" enough, that if enough people fed enough of that which they do not want in this world that a kind of breaking point would eventually occur, where many, many people would suddenly, through unprecedented need, come to realize all you were realizing, all the above, all of it-
and that if you could just believe it and know it and live it big enough and hard enough, and all of them could, too, that maybe you could CHANGE things. For real, I mean really real, in a never before changed way, in a non-unchangeable way, forever and ever, the whole way we live our whole lives on this whole earth.
Then you would know why I will not consider what is on the 24-hour news stations important. On accounta I do not wish to consider it at all.
Nor any problem any of us are having, any time. Unless I am considering loving you through it.
I put my mental energy, all of it, into not just my own wonderful amazing experience but the wonderful amazng experiences of all of us, the whole earth, all the time, with every ounce of my mind, heart and LIFE. Because I know how powerful my thoughts are.
I choose love. All the time.
We are eternal. We can not lose each other.
Nothing else is important.
-Amber
Blahg #4 - "Not your Grandmother's Faith."
Ok cats and kittens, a word about faith.
A lot of times you hear me talking about having faith, and I really need to take a few minutes to explain it further, and for me I need to also, right now, I would like to. Because of two reasons. One is that this particular faith I mean is not the faith you've heard tell of, which means there is a great deal of misinterpretation that occurs when I drop this word, and sometimes y'all are looking at me like I just morphed into a televangelist, foaming at the mouth and knocking over cryitty baptist ladies in hats with flowers on them. It's a pretty funny look. And I *get* that look. Because the kind of faith that they are talking about is the most bullshit faith imaginable. I'm not saying it doesn't lead you to the faith I'm talking about but just to be clear what I am *not* talking about is the the one where you blindly believe shit you can't see. When I was a kid I was told "faith is believing in something you can't see" or something similar. And that my good friends, is bullshit. Believing in something you can't see and feel is not believing in truth cuzza not only can you see truth, but it's the clearest thing you have ever seen when you see it. All people looking for truth will come to it. This was why I stopped with all the church stuff at a younger age because people kept telling me I should just accept shit and I didn't believe I should. I was all like, "Why are you telling me yours is the only right religion, but also I can't go out and read about other religions, and I should just believe it's right. If your religion is the true truth, I should be able to leave here, walk down the street, talk to every person I see, read every book that exists and still come to that conclusion, on my own. If this is truth, why are you trying to hide anything and everything else?"
This kind of faith -isn't- blind. It will prove itself over and over to you. A million times every fucking day. So first, clear your mind of this idea of some unknowing or convincing of yourself or whatever related to having faith. Or at least the kind I'm talking about. This kind of faith is like a belief you have, but bigger. The beliefs you have that you vibrate. Not the beliefs you'd like to believe. Not the beliefs you talk about, or what those around you believe and you agree with. This kind of faith, very, extremely literally makes *everything* happen. So really it's actually mad, mad important. And this is why I am always talking about it. Because your faith in things, or lack of faith in them, anything, "good" or "bad", I mean any old thing you believe vibrationally, on any old topic, shape the entire life that you live right now.
When you believe something, anything, your brain wants to make you right. If you stop and think about it for a while you might start to see how every person has totally convinced themselves that they have arrived at "right," the real right, about every subject that has ever come up in life so far. Even if their "right" is, "nobody knows the answer to that question, it's just a mystery..." they're still fucking right about that. If you look even a little further you may also see that every person's set of conclusions is totally different. But they'll still feel fully justified for yelling at you over your version. On accounta just how really, really right they are just about this one thing for sure. And don't you see that 6.78 out of the 10.67 cats in this general vicinity agree with me? Surely that should help you see that my conclusion here is really the realliest right one. Do a street survey- about blahitty blah percentile would agree with me. Cool people think I'm right. Don't you see yet, how unright you are? Well now, on this one here, you're so unright Ima stop loving you for a while. Yell a little more. Maybe Ima call my friends and see how unright they think you are and we can feel even righter together. Help me feel more justified in taking my love away, on accounta it doesn't feel very nice. But it feels nicer now when other people agree with me. Oh if I could just get YOU to agree with me, that would feel reeeeally nice I bet, since this thing is so important for me to be right about. So no more talky until you do. You don't even deserve my love until you see it cuz that's how right it is.
And if you look further and furthitty still, veeery far indeed, you *might* be able to see, that even though some of those things you thought were really, reeeeeallly, realllly for reals reals right and reallly, the most terrible, horrible version of wrong that could ever be wrong, and 98.98 percent of non crazy Americans would toootally agree with you, that even *those* beliefs are these kind of beliefs, and qualify in these categories, and are still just the same old reason to stop loving people. And to not be happy right now.
SO. Beliefs you vibrate. They start out like thoughts.
Let's say you took a class in highschool and you had a wee bit of a shite teacher or even a good one who meant well, but for whatever reason, you sucked in that class. Somewhere in like the 3rd week there was this one day where you just realized, hey I don't know if I am gonna do so well in this classitty. It doesn't even matter the reason why. SO let's say this class was a geography class. SO let's say at the end of it, you noticed how you sucked at geography. (Now, I said noticed, on accountat that's how people do it. They spend all their time 'noticing' all these things about themselves, like these characteristics previously existed and gradually we will see all these characteristics about ourselves and memorize them, we memorize the list of noticings, and this is who we are. Or close to that. How close depends on when we notice we know ourselves. So then we'd say all the noticings about ourselves, how our favorite colour is blue and we grew up in this town and we don't like peas and we prefer to wear certain things and our relationship with this one person sucks and this one rocks, for now, and our interests include skiing, good music and child psychology and that's who we are. Bullshit. All bullshit. House of cards. As far as all it is is who we believe we are. Subject to change at any time.) Anyway...
So now you've 'noticed' that you suck at geography, which just means you decide you do. Now the thingitty is, your mind is very powerful, and it wants you to be right. So as you go about your daily business, live the next ten years of your life, collecting evidence supporting your belief that you suck at geography. And it will be there- promise. Someone will ask you a capital you don't know and you'll say "oooh, don't ask me, I suck at geography." And you'll take a note of your 'noticing'. And gradually you are gonna find how much you suck at geography. And indeed you will suck at geography. This is how our brain works. Also how it keeps us "right." It becomes very important to protect those thoughts about who we are. This can work in your favor if the belief is awesome-o. But is decidedly less cool if the belief is destructive.
See once you've said,"if that thing ever happened to me, I don't know what I would do, I'd lose my mind." about ****ANYTHING****, then that's the belief you have introduced into your noticings about who you are. Think about how many things you have said that about things you've heard. Please. Big and small, like "that would annoy the piss out of me" works here too. But I use the mind losing one on accounta it's *so much more dangerous.*
Now- if and when that very thing happens to you, whatever it is, then when you scan your thoughts to find the emotion you should feel (which is the living in thought I am always talking about, happens in the blink of a fucking eye, we mistake this process as naturally reacting to life, but it's only calling up our noticings and matching emotion and then calling forth that emotion, often powerfully, fast-like) you'll of course find that you should feel terrible, and feel terrible, and subsequently lose your fucking mind. Whatever you've decided THAT means. I'm not writing off how serious this is for people. No blame here, what you believe to be the really real truth is fucking powerful. Why do you think it's so awesome when you learn to believe other things?
Now.
Have faith? Yes. Believe with real belief, just as much as you believe those collections of things about yourself, that much belief, in all the awesomest things possible about yourself. In whatever ways you want. The most awesomest things, the beliefs that make you feel the absolute happiest.
The joke is, the funny thing is, what you don't get is, if you started believing everything about yourself that made you the happiest to believe it, RIGHT NOW- you would,
for the first time in your life,
Be actually believing yourself
to be
who
you truly
fucking
ARE.
And believe them about life, too. And your whole world would shift to make it all match up, and since that match would be all that made you the happiest, you'd be stupid fucking happy, and all you did was just believe the best stuff and the most fun stuff about life, and turns out that was true all along, huh, imagine that. Emotions are more than feelings. They are your compass.
So I have faith in my dreams, cuzza how I know, just know, with every fibre of my being, that they can all come true if I want them to. Since it's true. It is Universal law. My true beliefs will change very universe around me. It already has. Oh and I don't know how the fuck I'm going to get there- it doesn't matter, that's not even by job. If I planned it my way it would fuck it all up. The law is too perfect on it's own. I don't have to work out details, I don't have to know how it's all gonna go down. It's much, much simpler than that. Much simpler. For all of us.
The vibration is literally all I have to take care of. How I'm feeling, how I'm believing. The rest will happen on it's own. I know how far that goes against everything you've been taught about how to get things done in this life- but it is true. It is the truth. You don't have to believe me for it to be true, but I would *just* *love* you to. On accounta once you did, you would have everything you want.
When you see this, all of it, in your own life, you won't have to put effort into faith, because you will know. You'll know this is how it works. And you'll be too busy choosing all the fun things to believe and planning every super fun detail of your super fun life to have worries. Any.
Lots of love,
Amber
A lot of times you hear me talking about having faith, and I really need to take a few minutes to explain it further, and for me I need to also, right now, I would like to. Because of two reasons. One is that this particular faith I mean is not the faith you've heard tell of, which means there is a great deal of misinterpretation that occurs when I drop this word, and sometimes y'all are looking at me like I just morphed into a televangelist, foaming at the mouth and knocking over cryitty baptist ladies in hats with flowers on them. It's a pretty funny look. And I *get* that look. Because the kind of faith that they are talking about is the most bullshit faith imaginable. I'm not saying it doesn't lead you to the faith I'm talking about but just to be clear what I am *not* talking about is the the one where you blindly believe shit you can't see. When I was a kid I was told "faith is believing in something you can't see" or something similar. And that my good friends, is bullshit. Believing in something you can't see and feel is not believing in truth cuzza not only can you see truth, but it's the clearest thing you have ever seen when you see it. All people looking for truth will come to it. This was why I stopped with all the church stuff at a younger age because people kept telling me I should just accept shit and I didn't believe I should. I was all like, "Why are you telling me yours is the only right religion, but also I can't go out and read about other religions, and I should just believe it's right. If your religion is the true truth, I should be able to leave here, walk down the street, talk to every person I see, read every book that exists and still come to that conclusion, on my own. If this is truth, why are you trying to hide anything and everything else?"
This kind of faith -isn't- blind. It will prove itself over and over to you. A million times every fucking day. So first, clear your mind of this idea of some unknowing or convincing of yourself or whatever related to having faith. Or at least the kind I'm talking about. This kind of faith is like a belief you have, but bigger. The beliefs you have that you vibrate. Not the beliefs you'd like to believe. Not the beliefs you talk about, or what those around you believe and you agree with. This kind of faith, very, extremely literally makes *everything* happen. So really it's actually mad, mad important. And this is why I am always talking about it. Because your faith in things, or lack of faith in them, anything, "good" or "bad", I mean any old thing you believe vibrationally, on any old topic, shape the entire life that you live right now.
When you believe something, anything, your brain wants to make you right. If you stop and think about it for a while you might start to see how every person has totally convinced themselves that they have arrived at "right," the real right, about every subject that has ever come up in life so far. Even if their "right" is, "nobody knows the answer to that question, it's just a mystery..." they're still fucking right about that. If you look even a little further you may also see that every person's set of conclusions is totally different. But they'll still feel fully justified for yelling at you over your version. On accounta just how really, really right they are just about this one thing for sure. And don't you see that 6.78 out of the 10.67 cats in this general vicinity agree with me? Surely that should help you see that my conclusion here is really the realliest right one. Do a street survey- about blahitty blah percentile would agree with me. Cool people think I'm right. Don't you see yet, how unright you are? Well now, on this one here, you're so unright Ima stop loving you for a while. Yell a little more. Maybe Ima call my friends and see how unright they think you are and we can feel even righter together. Help me feel more justified in taking my love away, on accounta it doesn't feel very nice. But it feels nicer now when other people agree with me. Oh if I could just get YOU to agree with me, that would feel reeeeally nice I bet, since this thing is so important for me to be right about. So no more talky until you do. You don't even deserve my love until you see it cuz that's how right it is.
And if you look further and furthitty still, veeery far indeed, you *might* be able to see, that even though some of those things you thought were really, reeeeeallly, realllly for reals reals right and reallly, the most terrible, horrible version of wrong that could ever be wrong, and 98.98 percent of non crazy Americans would toootally agree with you, that even *those* beliefs are these kind of beliefs, and qualify in these categories, and are still just the same old reason to stop loving people. And to not be happy right now.
SO. Beliefs you vibrate. They start out like thoughts.
Let's say you took a class in highschool and you had a wee bit of a shite teacher or even a good one who meant well, but for whatever reason, you sucked in that class. Somewhere in like the 3rd week there was this one day where you just realized, hey I don't know if I am gonna do so well in this classitty. It doesn't even matter the reason why. SO let's say this class was a geography class. SO let's say at the end of it, you noticed how you sucked at geography. (Now, I said noticed, on accountat that's how people do it. They spend all their time 'noticing' all these things about themselves, like these characteristics previously existed and gradually we will see all these characteristics about ourselves and memorize them, we memorize the list of noticings, and this is who we are. Or close to that. How close depends on when we notice we know ourselves. So then we'd say all the noticings about ourselves, how our favorite colour is blue and we grew up in this town and we don't like peas and we prefer to wear certain things and our relationship with this one person sucks and this one rocks, for now, and our interests include skiing, good music and child psychology and that's who we are. Bullshit. All bullshit. House of cards. As far as all it is is who we believe we are. Subject to change at any time.) Anyway...
So now you've 'noticed' that you suck at geography, which just means you decide you do. Now the thingitty is, your mind is very powerful, and it wants you to be right. So as you go about your daily business, live the next ten years of your life, collecting evidence supporting your belief that you suck at geography. And it will be there- promise. Someone will ask you a capital you don't know and you'll say "oooh, don't ask me, I suck at geography." And you'll take a note of your 'noticing'. And gradually you are gonna find how much you suck at geography. And indeed you will suck at geography. This is how our brain works. Also how it keeps us "right." It becomes very important to protect those thoughts about who we are. This can work in your favor if the belief is awesome-o. But is decidedly less cool if the belief is destructive.
See once you've said,"if that thing ever happened to me, I don't know what I would do, I'd lose my mind." about ****ANYTHING****, then that's the belief you have introduced into your noticings about who you are. Think about how many things you have said that about things you've heard. Please. Big and small, like "that would annoy the piss out of me" works here too. But I use the mind losing one on accounta it's *so much more dangerous.*
Now- if and when that very thing happens to you, whatever it is, then when you scan your thoughts to find the emotion you should feel (which is the living in thought I am always talking about, happens in the blink of a fucking eye, we mistake this process as naturally reacting to life, but it's only calling up our noticings and matching emotion and then calling forth that emotion, often powerfully, fast-like) you'll of course find that you should feel terrible, and feel terrible, and subsequently lose your fucking mind. Whatever you've decided THAT means. I'm not writing off how serious this is for people. No blame here, what you believe to be the really real truth is fucking powerful. Why do you think it's so awesome when you learn to believe other things?
Now.
Have faith? Yes. Believe with real belief, just as much as you believe those collections of things about yourself, that much belief, in all the awesomest things possible about yourself. In whatever ways you want. The most awesomest things, the beliefs that make you feel the absolute happiest.
The joke is, the funny thing is, what you don't get is, if you started believing everything about yourself that made you the happiest to believe it, RIGHT NOW- you would,
for the first time in your life,
Be actually believing yourself
to be
who
you truly
fucking
ARE.
And believe them about life, too. And your whole world would shift to make it all match up, and since that match would be all that made you the happiest, you'd be stupid fucking happy, and all you did was just believe the best stuff and the most fun stuff about life, and turns out that was true all along, huh, imagine that. Emotions are more than feelings. They are your compass.
So I have faith in my dreams, cuzza how I know, just know, with every fibre of my being, that they can all come true if I want them to. Since it's true. It is Universal law. My true beliefs will change very universe around me. It already has. Oh and I don't know how the fuck I'm going to get there- it doesn't matter, that's not even by job. If I planned it my way it would fuck it all up. The law is too perfect on it's own. I don't have to work out details, I don't have to know how it's all gonna go down. It's much, much simpler than that. Much simpler. For all of us.
The vibration is literally all I have to take care of. How I'm feeling, how I'm believing. The rest will happen on it's own. I know how far that goes against everything you've been taught about how to get things done in this life- but it is true. It is the truth. You don't have to believe me for it to be true, but I would *just* *love* you to. On accounta once you did, you would have everything you want.
When you see this, all of it, in your own life, you won't have to put effort into faith, because you will know. You'll know this is how it works. And you'll be too busy choosing all the fun things to believe and planning every super fun detail of your super fun life to have worries. Any.
Lots of love,
Amber
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)