Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Blahg #23 - "Magic, All The Time."

We are becoming aware of a force.  I call it magic all the time, on accounta, it is.  The more you become aware of it, the more you see it.  In infinite layers through infinite happenings- because that is exactly what this force is, infinite.  It's in you and around you, and it IS you.  And since it IS you, it is easy to recognize, because it will ring out in you, just impossibly clear.  Clearer and clearer.  Once you recognize it in you, you see it in all Life.  You see it in all of existence- unfolding, breathing, living.  Being.

The more you feel the force of Life, the more you understand that the less you push against what your Life is right now, the more perfectly things go.  That there is a rhythm to the entire planet, and all of the Universe, and that you are definitely and absolutely within it.  You begin to see that you spent your entire life trying to force all kinds of things into Now that weren't there. And that instead of ever being where you were, you were wishing or explaining or wanting to be somewhere else, and that you were somewhere else, in your mind, judging everything in your Now, deciding why it was wrong or bad or even deciding it was good, but just deciding.  When you are aware of the force of Life you become aware that everything in Now belongs there.  And not in a way like, life blows, so this is just how it's supposed to blow for you.  No one who had begun to recognize that they had the force of Life and therefore of Love running through them, and in them, and through and in their lives, would ever think that.

If you know about this rhythm, this force,

and if you feel it pulling you toward your highest self, which is of course your happiest and most Loving self, and therefore toward all the things You have always wanted for Yourself, now that you've figured out what they are,

if you feel it filling you, and all of humanity, gradually; if you see it seeping in to the people and the world around you;  if you feel it building, and pulsating, and ready to pour out of you, and ready to pour out of all of us, and cause a breakthrough into a new Life where everyone feels the force of Life and of Love, and dwells in it, and knows of it always-

then for goodness sake, stop worrying.  Trust in the magic, the absolute magic in it all.  It *all.*  Feel the force of Life within you and within everything that exists, and know that everything is happening the best way possible.  Feel assured, and rest in the knowledge that you are being taken there, to your highest self, every minute, in the best way possible.  Appearances are tricky.  You are being expanded.  Sometimes it hurts.  But, if you can remember why it's happening, the pain can feel... different.  More like... reverence, and understanding, and acceptance.  And... I guess it's praise, really.  The understanding, and upholding, of the beauty in the process of Life.  It is always possible.

The new understandings are happening to us all.  We can easily be grateful, and joyful, if we truly begin to understand where we are headed, what is going to happen to Life as we know it, because of these understandings.  If you are reading and resonating with this blahg post there will be no doubt in you about this.  None of these destinations are any less glorious because we have not reached them yet.  They are in us, and a part of us.  Because they are why we are here.  Because they are why we Are.

Don't ever let yourself think, for one moment, that we won't make it there.  If you can just look at the magic, even when no one else around you can see it, you will remember, in your heart, that we are headed there.  You will Be there.  And I will be there.  And everyone who is there, is there Together.  And some day, we will all be there.

I just, so truly, love the shit out of you,


-Amber

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Blahg #22 - "Letter to Rich."

I wrote this to a friend, and it occurred to me that I have been wanting to post something like this for a long time.  It seemed as good a blahg post as any, and it came from the heart, so here it is.

"I think because I try to keep things really simple and concise that I sometimes come across as mean or unfeeling... But I'm really not. I know what it is to struggle, and to feel targeted even, and you may be surprised to hear, that I feel in some ways targeted constantly in the telling of what I believe to be the Truest Truth. So I know exactly how you feel. Maybe I haven't gone through exactly your pain, so I won't say exactly, but I have a good idea how you feel. Prollitty better than you might imagine. 

It's just... Hm. Well I might as well just lay out what I believe that's different, and it is different, so I hope you can understand.

I feel there is a place you can come to where you feel so supported, so very loved, from beings that you feel all around you, as close as real friends, 

who can reassure and guide you, and know everything about you and what you have been through, and are as real as your friends and realer,

and that they can make you feel like you are ok for being special, and amazing for being special, even as the world around you tries to tear you down. And that you can feel so amazingly strong in the truths that they confirm for you and guide you to that you cease to fear. And that you cease to feel like any of it can even affect you, because you are so sure in the support and love that exists for you.

And if you know I believe in these beings, then you'll see that I feel I communicate with them. They are not anything weird or sinister but merely other beings that just don't happen to be here, on this earth with us, and yet completely are, at the same time. Like a loving family, still at home, and life is like college. I don't know a better way to explain it than that, but it feels like home.

A lot of people would think that sounds completely crazy. But I believe in it so, extremely fully, that it has taken away just, so much of my fear. And so much of the hurt I had for what others had done to me. And so much of my sadness or hopelessness. Knowing and feeling this has just made everything that mattered matter so much more, and anything that didn't matter matter so much less.

They make me feel like everything that is happening is meant to happen. That all this is taking us somewhere consistently always, consistently closer, and closer with every second, with every happening, closer and closer. And since I feel that way, I can look out into a world that seems so desperate, so sad, so full of murder and rage and loss and terror and sadness. And still see it moving closer and closer, every second. And so I don't share in the terror. I can't- not when I know what it is bringing. Not when I know where we are going.

Every happening is bringing Truth, a return to who we really Are.

So yeah, I feel like I have this guidance, from others, call them angels, call them whatever you want to call them, but I feel like they are there, right there, in the remembering of this- right now. They aren't waiting to return to Love, they Are Love. In the full knowledge of what they are. And with them around me, reminding me, I can't find it in me to feel the way that I guess seeing all that murder and rage and loss and sadness "should" make me feel. Or how it makes most people feel. Or how people think it should make me feel, a lot of the time.

So I am sorry, truly sorry, if I said anything that hurt you. But telling you that you could get to a place where your gifts and even your life feels totally different is something I feel like I have to speak up for, if for only one reason, one all-important reason,

which is that I feel like everyone could do it. 

And if you felt the way I felt, and got to live with less of those terrible feelings and more of the better ones, you would want it for everyone. And you would never want to give it up, and you would want to speak up for it. You would want everyone you love to know it was possible, if you thought it was possible. To feel this way.

You would have to, even if it sounded crazy.

I usually don't try to convince anyone that the beings exist. 

Instead, I try to show their existence, by remembering who I truly am always. By staying as close to them as possible, and by living the Life that expresses what we truly are, and to me that means expressing Love always. I know how it comes across, a lot of the time. But I can't sell out Love, and I can't help but stay in a place that sees the world through the eyes of Love. Anyone who looks at the world through the eyes of Love would never want to look at it any other way. Ever again.

I super, duper love you,

Amber

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Blahg #21 - "God."

So I just want to say some things I believe about God.  You can decide for yourself whether to believe them, they are just suggestions.

God does not judge you.  Ever.  Flat out.  Sin really means, not being totally joyful.  And it doesn't mean you are bad or wrong, it just means you are not experiencing God's love, and so have in that way 'separated' yourself in your *experience* from God, and from the Truth, which is that you are part of God.  The idea that you can fall out of favor with God to me seems silly.  The more I learn about Love, the sillier it seems.  In God's eyes each and every single last one of us is perfect, right now.  In spiritual Truth, there is no right and wrong, good and bad.

This scares the fucknuts out of a lot of people.  People want to believe that Hitler fell out of favor with God.  They kind of... need to.  They also need to believe it to justify how they've been living.  Or how they've been telling you to live.  And they want to believe that they are the ultimate judges, and have mapped out an intricate and oh so very sense-making version of what is CLEARLY right and CLEARLY wrong, and what is clearly a grey area and what nobody knows and what you're an idiot if you even THINK you know, and so on.  And they believe this with all their being, in fact it is *who they are,* they believe- and so a different idea that seems to so unify us, and in some way equate us all, becomes frightening.

Let me tell you something about this idea of God.  I spent a lot of time in my life being a not nice person.  And that was when I believed there was this line which I was constantly crossing.  That so many failures, failure after failure were defining me as this terrible person, because of what I had been made to believe was terrible.  It was when I believed other people were terrible, and that the world was terrible.  And the worse it was, and the worse they were, the worse I felt.  And I was unhealthy, and I was unhappy, and I was fucking nasty sometimes.  And I felt stuck in all these cycles and it just got worse, and worse.

If you think that the idea (Truth) that you can not fall out of favor with God, that you are perfect, RIGHT NOW, as you are, that you yourself are a God, that you are part of God created of God in the image of God, that not for one second in this Lifetime has God ever felt anything but complete and total awe and complete and total Love for the LIFE he Lovingly created of himself- if there's anything in you that rejects this idea,

let me tell you what that idea did for me.

Let me tell you what releasing guilt in my life did for me.  Let me tell you what slowly dismantling every tie I ever felt to what anyone thought I should or shouldn't do did for me.  Let me tell you what feeling one hundred percent loved, and one hundred percent accepted *even* when not behaving perfectly, when physically completely alone, even when being misunderstood or misread or mistreated- did for me.

When you realize you are made of Love, you will become Love.  When you know you are constantly in communion with God, you will feel the presence of Divine Love all around you.  All the time.  It will bring Peace that passes understanding, within- and so, gradually without.  You will bring it with you everywhere, and it will be poured out from you everywhere, and you will see it in all things and people you encounter.

When you feel unconditionally Loved by God it will allow you to begin to unconditionally Love others.  All others.  Yes, even the really really bad ones.  Yes, I know how that sounds.  If you believe that you yourself are not in need of forgiveness, it can't stop with anybody.  With any Life.  When you start to know God's unending, unyielding Love, you will start to understand that.  And you will be compelled to show that Love to others.  You won't be able to live any other way.  You will also begin to be unconditionally loving toward yourself.

When you begin to love and accept yourself exactly as you are, you will give yourself permission to be happy always.  You will stop being afraid.  People who are becoming Love are becoming less afraid.  People who are wholly Love are wholly unafraid.  Being happy always coincides with making others happy.  Which coincides with being Loving, always.  That is what the idea that there is no 'wrong' did for me.  It hasn't made me feel like I can guiltlessly be a shithead.  It has made me want to be Loving always.  It has made me want to live a life that honors and shares and exemplifies the Love God has for me, and for all of us, always.

When you are loving always, you are forgiving always.  The idea that God sees you as perfect and holy can give you the power to forgive others, always.  As you let go of your unforgiveness, Love fills the space.  God fills it.  And this has a tremendous affect on your physical Life.  Believing you are worthy of Love will begin to make you understand you are also worthy of the greatest that this life has to offer, in every facet, without exception, *right now.*  God thinks you are.  And he will show you this by making your Life better than anything you ever dreamed possible, once you understand your own worthiness, and his Love for you.   Which leads to recognizing this worthiness in everyone you encounter, and to Loving them.

When you see God's Love for you reflected in everyone and in everything, and your experience is filled with joy, you will be seeing the world through the eyes of God.  Where it is paradise.

God loves you no matter what, so be happy.

All God's Love and Mine,

-Amber


Sunday, May 6, 2012

Blahg #20 - "Joy."

Straight out Joy.

Clear, True, exciting, invigorating, ridiculous, face-in, balls-out, all-over Joy.

All the time, every day, ever-growing, eternally sustaining, knock-down, drag-out, logic-defying, World-defining Joy.

Don't be afraid to have it.

Don't be afraid to embody it.  To *be* it.  Because you *Are* it.

Remember that your Joy will expand and grow and touch those around you.  That it will ring out like a note of music in and around your existence.  People, upon hearing it, may start to question their misery.  And feel the answer at the same time, emanating from You.  As you share your Joy, it will grow.  As you experience your own Joy reflected through others, which can not help but happen if Joy is what you are Being- as you see even the smallest evidence of their existences being lifted, made lighter- your heart will soar, and your Joy will become all the greater.  A delicious, joyful cycle will begin.  And you will take it with you everywhere.  To be Joy and therefore bring Joy is to co-create with God.  In each and every Life you are brought into contact with, you can become a gift.  You can become a messenger, without even having to define your message.  Just by having Joy, and Being Joy, and sharing your Joy relentlessly, in a world where the stark contrast of your Joy may well have become impossible *not* to notice, you can change your world.  And change the World.

The only way to give Joy fully, is to never stop Being it.

But if you do stop Being it, just remember you can always Be it again, if you want to.


Your Joy will show you an easier way.

It will scatter itself out through the events of every day of the rest of your life if you let it, and plant itself there.  So that as you move forward through the rest of your life, it meets you everywhere.  In harvests so vast and so deeply meaningful, to you and to those around you, that the evidence of the whole Universe working together in support of this Joy will convince you *forever* that no other way of living is fit for any of God's children.  It will present you with proof that when we are creating in Joy and in Love (which can not be separate from Joy) we are creating with Life.  With the forces of Life backing, and enhancing, our creations.  Which always catapults them into the highest and holiest and most amazing creations possible, which equates to bringing us the Greatest Joy, and the Greatest Love possible.  And the greatest Experiences possible.

Joy can show you that, if you let it.

You let it by sticking up for it, in a way.  You let it by fanning its flames.  If you think about this, it's extremely fucking amazing.  It means you cultivate Joy by being Joyful.  How awesome is that?  Nothing could be more awesome than that.  The happier you are, the more Joy-filled and full-filled and Love-filled you can possibly Be, the better the your experiences will become, naturally.  Without even planning it.  It's just how it works.  Joy will show you that.

Which is why,

it's so important,

to let yourself come back to Joy always.

And to never be afraid to be Joyful.  To never feel like it's selfish, or bad, or crazy, or stupid, or even blind, to be Joyful.  Because in a world where people often don't understand the power of Joy, and of Love, it may truly seem like all of those things sometimes, to some people.

But I promise you.

If you just Be Joyful,  relentlessly, you will change your world, and theirs too.  This is the only way we can change anything.  And yes, it is the greatest way imaginable.  And yes, it will make your life so amazing, and exciting, and literally *magical* that you can hardly stand it- while also changing the whole world for the better.  And changing the lives of all those you encounter, for the better.

So be Joyful.

It will eventually leave you with no question that Joy is what you Truly Are, and have been, all along.  It will eventually show you that Joy and Love are infinite.

And that You are.


All my Love,

Amber






Sunday, March 4, 2012

Blahg #19 - "Know."

What you must know is that Truth, being Eternal, rises up in waves, within and without, for each of us, always.  When one wave passes, another is gathering.  And any and all illusion, anything bred from fear, anything that could not be created anywhere else but in a world where creators forget who they are and create from so many false understandings- believing in shadows, believing in separation, believing in a lasting darkness- will eventually be removed and exposed, even if it is piece by piece, until the veil is lifted.  Whether it is here or after this physical existence, it will all be washed away by the gift of this cleansing process we call Life.  Here on Earth, in our most challenging, and often most painful, experiences, the wave of Truth crashes hardest- and the removal is most deliberate.  Like an ocean gradually smoothing out jagged rocks into smooth sand.  Truth is Infinite, and Its waves will never cease.  No matter how many times It is resisted, within or without- the Process, and the eventual result, remains the same.  And it is the most beautiful result imaginable- the joyous transition into Pure Love.  And by virtue of its result, the Process is equally beautiful.  This, you must know.

And you must never fear.  Because even the most painful of the creations you encounter and experience are there as a means and an opportunity to wash Truth over you.  And even if, for those who choose to deny, or cannot see, the washing waves seem painful, repetitive, or even relentless- their purpose remains Holy, and their existence proof that we are made in the image of the Creator, and that everything we think and believe has Power, and *must* have Power, by virtue of that Truth.  Their existence, then, is to show you the Power of your own beliefs, whether you recognize it or not.  And to refine the existence of Love in you, through showing you what the forces of Love and the forces of fear in you create respectively, gradually elevating your own being to the level of the Love that created you, gradually bringing you closer to the remembrance of that experience, whether you recognize it or not.  Your dominion is all-powerful here in your existence- so powerful that your own disbelief in it negates it,-whether you recognize it or not.  The Creator has dominion over all of that even, and therefore nothing you ever do or experience could ever be outside of the will of the Love that created you, and therefore nothing you ever do or experience could ever harm you in a way that is Truthful or permanent, and can in fact can only ever harm you to the degree that you choose to believe is possible, so that even now only you are ever harming you.  When you return fully to who you Are, you will cease to ever feel at the mercy of anything ever again, all but Love will cease to exist, and you will understand that nothing but Love ever really existed.  You will feel as you Are- one with God.  Peace, in the biggest ways and the smallest, is the result of the crashing waves of the events of your life, the biggest and the smallest-  so you must never fear.

Finally, you must never lose faith.  In the Process, in the Power, and in the Love.  Because there is only one way to create separation, to uphold fear, or to forget Love.  And that is to create separation, to uphold fear, and to forget Love.  What you are creating and experiencing Now comes from this place.  When there is no separation or fear, and only Love, you will create from a different place, and what you create will be as Holy and perfect as what the Creator created: You.  And none of what you experience here will ever feel like anything harmful.  Because it will never be anything harmful.  And you are closer to that day than you realize, whether you recognize it or not.  And you are being moved continuously closer, as we all are, every minute, every second, every Now- whether we recognize it or not.  Every single minuscule experience is bringing you closer, ever closer, to Love- whether you recognize it or not.  But if you do recognize it, you will feel better.  You will feel so much better.

All my Love,

Amber